Spilled Ink

Language Teaching in Japan

2010-12-19T20:58:00.000-08:00

Some of you have urged me to update my blog. Here's an essay which I wrote for my English class.

I am a Malaysian. I am a Malaysian Chinese. I am a Chinese Malaysian. Yet, “Who are you, exactly?” some ask.

Who am I? My reply is largely contingent on the mentality of my audience. Frankly speaking, I will normally tell a Japanese that “I’m Malaysian, desu”, as to be as succinct as possible, since my past conversational experiences have told me nothing but the complete ignorance of ethnic issues deeply rooted in the Japanese community. For instance, asking any Japanese university student about the existence of the Ainu people who are native to Hokkaido will almost always bring about answers which are peculiarly similar by conveying a message such as this- “But they’re ethnically Japanese too.” In my defense, I did try disapproving such a bold statement once, but I am quite sure that will also be my last attempt.

Worse still, they have come up with a social order which can be rather unidimensional by somehow managing to fit every living being in it. To understand the underlying statement, consider the following story.

I had been looking for a part-time job since the beginning of this semester. I was hoping to teach Japanese kids English since I thought, “If [Insert Japanese Name Here] who speaks mediocre English could find a job teaching secondary school students how to communicate in English, why can’t I?” Henceforth, I decided to give it a try last Friday, and little did I know that would also end my search once and for all. The telephone conversation went a little like this:

Note: Minor modifications have been made to retain the subtle syntactical difference which might be lost in translation.

Me: Hi, is this XXX Eikaiwa? I’m Lim Liang Chun, calling to inquire about the job… (Unfinished)

Mr. X: Pardon me. Did you say your name was “RI-N RI-A….-N”? I suppose you’re a Chinese. I’m sorry. We don’t usually hire CHINESE people to teach English…

To tell you the truth, that comment was extremely disconcerting. I had never felt so humiliated before. So, to avenge my bruised pride, I came up with something like this:

Me: Sorry, I’m afraid you’re confused by my Chinese sounding name. I’m actually an AMERICAN, currently residing in Japan. As I was saying, about the job…

Mr. X: Oh I see. Your Japanese sounds perfect. How long have you been living in Japan? We would be glad to interview you. When will you be available? It would be our pleasure to have you on board.

Me: (Beep…Beep…Beep)

Clearly, I couldn’t take it anymore. Even though I had been well acquainted with the fact that most Japanese are obsessed with the term “American”, the change in attitude was simply baffling. I knew I had to try it again, so yesterday, I was up for trial No.2.

Me: Hello, I’m Lim Chun Liang, a SINGAPOREAN calling to inquire…

Mr. X: (Murmuring) Oh, a Singaporean, huh? I suppose Singapore is somehow associated with the Anglosphere. Why don’t you send us a resume and then we’ll talk.

Me: (Beep…Beep…Beep)

If that wasn’t degrading enough, try this for a change. Today,

Me: Hello, I’m Chun Liang Lim, a MALAYSIAN…

Mr. X: I’M SORRY. WE ARE NOT HIRING. GOOD DAY. (Beep…Beep…Beep)

P/S: To make things fair, I called the same company three times, each with a different phone.

What is the moral of the story? In the corporate world of Eikaiwa, being American RULES, while the rest, and by “the rest”, I mean Asians, are awfully ill-treated. Am I exaggerating? I suppose my next story will perhaps shed some light.

A few weeks ago, I found myself sitting in front of Mr. Asakawa, discussing English education conducted in Japan. The crux of our brief conversation is as follows:

Me: I got a D last semester. The teacher had me translating English texts into Japanese. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he even tried to make me take the test, no dictionary! Let’s be honest here, do you sincerely think that asking your students to translate will help them improve their language skills?

Mr. Asakawa: No, I don’t. We’re doing this because it’s tradition.

Me: But if I were white, I bet he wouldn’t even dare to ask.

Mr. Asakawa: Perhaps…

Need I say more? I could go on forever. Indeed, I was even chided by a Japanese student once, claiming that if one starts learning foreign languages too early, one cannot articulate properly in his or her mother tongue. She was responding to the fact that I speak six languages, as if to say “Jack of all trades, master of none”. She should know better, because she speaks only two languages, technically, though only functional in one, which in turn, makes her perfectly perfect in that language. Therefore, in Japan, foreigners are to be condoned for their overtly displayed brevity when conducting the act of self-introduction, which would otherwise be deemed instrumental elsewhere, in getting to know each other.

Speaking of unidimensional, the Japanese only differentiate between two colors, in general. Needless to say, whether I’m a Malaysian Chinese or a Chinese Malaysian, as long as I stroll along the Yamato archipelago, it doesn’t really matter. I’m not white, that’s why I fall under the category “Others,” which explains my inability to speak both English and whatever it is I speak, apparently.

Rest assured that I’m just a boy telling my stories from my point of view. I’ve met good people along the way as well. Yet, this is how I feel most of the time. Feel free to judge. I’ve had my fair of misjudgments anyway.

P/S: I’m not proclaiming that there’s no point of me learning English.

孟庆

2010-10-11T07:40:00.000-07:00

偶然读到他的博客，《寂寞的爱》。

有些朋友，久了就不再联络。果然吗？
人如今在哪，谁也不知道。

朋友们，你在哪里???

P/S 绝对不是说没人知道，只是一时感慨...

Natalie Portman

2010-09-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

She actually told the New York Times, "I'd rather be smart than some movie star."

= = "

2010-08-03T17:42:00.000-07:00

別れにしようかと、彼女が口にした。

もう肩にのせることできないと

もうそろそろだねと

もう響きが聞きたくないし、聞こえないではないかなと

もういいよと

もうその一歩を踏み出したよと

もう重くないかと

もう手放したくなったなと

電話のかなたから話がやってきた。

そうだねとしか言えなくなるよと、歯痒かった。

いくら「だから…だから…」と言い返しても、何もなんだ。

思いやりでありがとうと

遅すぎてすまんと

時の流れに任せようと

邓丽君

2010-07-23T23:32:00.000-07:00

突然觉得自己好厉害。
去了卡拉OK回来，才发现说，现在我竟能唱完邓丽君小姐所有的歌＾＾
强！

Poo

2010-06-14T06:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like poo.
POO POO POO POO...

Stupid Japan!
Stupid Japanese!
Stupid system!
Stupid me....

POO DAY!!!
POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO.............

江蕙——憨阿嬷

2010-04-22T00:39:00.000-07:00

眼眶又红了。
如此细腻地刻画嬷孙情怀的词曲，我想非此莫属。

2010-04-14T23:55:00.000-07:00

Internet is still nowhere to be seen.
I am not happy with that.

Otherwise, life here has been ok.
Nothing much has changed, apart from getting a new student ID and ... yes, nothing much.

Sendai is a great place. (Google it if you don't have a single clue what I'm talking about)
Although the weather is not something I like, the city is just about my preferred size, and you can actually commute just by bike, leaving all the mountain-climbing aside, of course.

I'm taking English classes.
The teachers are nice, as they're not asking me to translate English texts into Japanese.
(Not so good for the Japaneses though. They seemed really stressed after the first class.)
The American certainly did not expect somebody like me, since according to him, I too, look exactly like any other Japanese.
Well, in my opinion, any American would have done the same thing, so I kind of let him off this time.
Oh yeah, we had this homework, which you have to listen and answer.
Well, that's isn't the best description, yet the complexity of the substance is still under heavy cogitation, whatever that may be.

I had language classes, as well.
I guess, I'm actually pretty good. ^^
Will have tons of fun, I suppose.

Japanese friends are indispensable, obstensibly.
I have some, or so I thought.
Anyway, they've been fairly nice towards the ONLY foreign student in the faculty of agriculture.
So, no complaints there.

Going on a trip tomorrow, with my course mates.
A study trip, sadly, is what it is.
I guess, 山を登ったり海で遊んだりするのは　can be something good. Hopefully, fun. I guess.

"-_ -"

2010-03-23T00:49:00.000-07:00

If there's anything I hate more than packing...

Getting my a*s kicked out of my room tomorrow.
I hate moving.
I hate ripping your room into bits, along with your memories.
I hate ... I hate... I hate...

Filled in the forms required for my meticulous departure.
A complete detachment is longed for, as it seems.
I don't like Tokyo, so why am I dreading the journey ahead?

I am NOT happy!

Rescue Mission (supposedly)

2010-03-13T06:32:00.000-08:00

In response to Joshua's blog, my blog, as obvious as it might seem already, is losing vitality.
Sadly, I shall not convict myself to random, gastric stunts, just to boost my viewership. (which I don't see why anyone will care even if I do)
Yet, I shall continue the lame, boring, hypnotic story about my life. (Applause)

So the other day ('cause this is how you start a story), I decided to visit Sendai, which I did, given that I'm here now.
Now, something you should know before I start. As of this April, I'm going to be one of the lucky(hopefully) students who will be admitted to Tohoku University, department of agriculture.
Well, I took the night bus, which means, I had no rest whatsoever.
I arrived this morning, chilled to the bones, had no idea where I was or where I should go.
Thankfully, the Vietnamese guy, whom I'll be staying with after school starts, has seniors, which we, the Japanese-speaking community refer to as "SENPAI". (had to boast my newly found superpower which allows me to enjoy Anime even without subtitles)
So, back to the topic, we hopped on a taxi, with our fingers crossed, hoping that the driver wouldn't exploit our folly when it comes to roads and directions (FYI, I still have problems pointing out left and right, just so you know).
Again, thankfully, he's really kind, and helpful. Or else, I wouldn't be here chronicling this adventure of mine.(It's an adventure in it's own right per se, whatever that means) ^^

Now, you must be wondering, "WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR STUPID TRIP TO TOHOKU?".
Yes, my dear readers, I do have reasons. Hear me out, if you would.
First of all, I was rejected by the University House, which is something similar to hostels.
So, I would have to find a place to stay, now wouldn't I.
Hence, my presence.
Secondly, if you're my friend, just READ THE STORY AND STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. ^^

Yes, so where was I?
Oh, the Vietnamese SENPAIs' place.
A vintage chamber, saturated with the faint aroma of tatami, or in other words, it's extremely old and just plain Japanese.

First mission, find my future home sweet home for the next four years.
We took off at 10, with confidence that we'd be able to get a cheap yet wonderful place in no time, we walked to the real estate agency, in the rain. - -"

Just when we were about to make a decision, which would include a huge amount of cash and our lives together for the next four years, some other Tohoku freshman, well to-be, got it. Damn.

Cursing the bad luck that shadowed our search, we brace ourselves for the hardship that might dash us to the ground (literary, walking ain't the best way to commute in this city).
We actually got a place which is sort of better than we thought it would be.
I guess in the end, everything went well.

I'm tired, so let's end it here.
Gosh, I really have to do something about this damn blog.
But I'll watch Gossip Girl first...xD

P/S .Now if you want to know how my new place looks like, you have to leave a comment. Haha, that's great right, bet you didn't see this coming. HAHAHAHAHA

ー

2010-02-26T22:22:00.000-08:00

終わったんだ。
どうもまた高三の歳月に戻ってたような感じだ。
休止符のつかない試験、テストの日々、盲目的に過ごしたあの頃だ。
だって、変わりないのは、いったい何を知らせてほしいのかという疑問なんだ。
ひょっとして、何となく、ただ試験をさせたいだけだろう。
本当に試験結果から知ってるのは、どのぐらい将来に助かるのか。

でもね、この一年間、習ったことははるかにテキストより多かったんだ。
特に、人間関係について、何よりも勉強として身につけてきた。
今までずっと人間関係が得手なのよと思ってたんだけど、もともと素人なんだと、ようやく気づいたんだ。
皆、それぞれ持ってるもの、文化、性格は、違う上に、正反対のもあるんだ。
どうやって、平和で楽しく暮らしてくのかって、なかなか難問だよね。
期待の裏切られた様子も珍しくないし、どうやってもだめなんだという気もよくしてる。
だって、楽しんだ思い出もいっぱい持ってる。
しかも、文化の違いがあるからこそ、より楽しめるんだ。
たぶん、思い煩うことがあってこそ、嬉しさ、楽しさをもっとはっきりと感じられるかなぁ。

あと、一ヶ月ぐらいで、東北に行かなきゃいけない。
なんか、東京に住み続けたい気がする。
おそらく、日本での家だとみなしちゃったんだ。
何といっても、留学生の生活って、いつもあちこちに移らされるんじゃないか。
自分をこういう環境になじませるほかないね。

ガマン

2010-02-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

An Indonesian friend of mine, quite a close buddy, you may say, celebrated his 21st birthday yesterday.
He's pretty amazing, no, truly amazing.
Having studied in Singapore for 4 or 5 years, he long knew how it feels to be a ryuugakusei before any one of us, I suppose.
He's not exactly the guy I talk to frequently, but the conversations that we've shared never lose "it".
It's like, when we talk, I will find something inspirational about his life, bit by bit.
And no, this is not a sign of a premature romantic relationship.
He's special, as in, he's one of a kind.
Not in a peculiar way, but, if you have the chance to share some thoughts with him, he'll definitely glow, with his eyes wide open when he's enunciating his vision of the future. Passionate, yup, that's the word for him, precisely.
No, I'm not going to dedicate this whole post to him, but the words he told me, yesterday. Well, technically this morning, but calling it either day or night is nothing more than an overrated idea anyway.

He told me: "You're a smart guy. You just need the right chance at the right time."
Simple, yet deep. Why so?
Ironically, some of us, we've been working our a*ses off as long as we can remember what it's like to work.
The success hitherto tasted will always be as luring as ever.
Then, all of a sudden, you're stopped. There's something halting the path, but you can't really see what the something is.
All that left is just pain, and questions.
You'd ask: "Why God? Why me?"
You'll start licking your bruises, as if it'd take away all the sufferings.

BUT, if you're really who you said you were, then believe that the right chance at the right time will present itself in front of you, once more.
Yet, be sure that you'll be ready this time. Absolutely no self-pitying.
'Cause we've been bombarded the idea that "Youth+ Success= Great Life".
I mean, we tend to forget, we're not movie stars.
We ain't characters in the movie, who can achieve incredible lengths in 90 minutes.
'Cause it's not the big scenes that you should spend all your time on, instead, it's how you manage those tiny miscellaneous details, like how to be happy when you're extremely upset, that matters.
In the movies, the characters will get some sort of conscious guidance... And "poof", instant recovery.
But in truth, we all know it's bul*shit.
I still like watching movies though. Gives you a purpose for living.

Have patience. It's one of the virtues that will undeniably ameliorate your so-called dull life.
Don't rush it though, expecting just by telling yourself: "I AM READY!",

"BAM" "Major change in you life""BAM".

...

(IN THE END)

"BOOHOO, NOTHING"

Remember, have patience. ^^

爱|我

2010-01-30T19:25:00.000-08:00

爱情，是一场留有瘢痕的梦。
她即如彩霞般奥秘却醉人，即如浪涛般狼狈却激情。
被爱敲诈后，才发现爱与被爱之间，向来不为平等关系。
一方总是不自禁抚慰伤口，他们当此为高攀后的惩罚，嫦娥的宿命；而一方往往自觉地沉醉在呵护中，在奢侈的牺牲也欲求起来了。
或许，爱情就是要考验人类，在溢满私心、贪婪、欲望的大染缸里，义无反顾地付出的有多少颗心灵？扪心瞥见却接受的究竟又有多少只灵魂？

可别怀疑，爱情壮圣且烨如牡丹。
在众人的目光下含羞地绽露鲜艳的瓣蕊，花季将尽之际，她可早已暗地枯萎，滋润大地。
正如两人坠入爱河时，其尽头无论如何，总必有收获。
到头我想，我还是信仰爱情。

- -“

2010-01-21T03:49:00.000-08:00

其实，我真的很喜欢用文字传达心情。
我讨厌人家告诉我，我写的东西太做做了。
你凭什么告诉我？
你又知道我是一个怎样的人？
此外，我特别厌恶自以为把我给看个透彻的人。
我想要的，是你费尽一辈子的牛力也非想捉摸的理想。
若你真以为，用那些看起来好有水准，读者看了也赞美连连的字眼，就可以将我心里面所刻画的风景都映射出来，那你就未免太肤浅了吧？
对，我是理科生，作文表达应对我来说，不过为白活一场。
可你呢？你懂什么？
未入眼之际，我的文字全都沦丧为你固执傲慢的奴鲁。
身为老师的你，就连因材施教都不会的话，贻人不已。
假使有朝一日你看到我，我再也不会支支吾吾，说什么语言障碍的，届时你就等着听我为你特意准备的感谢辞吧！

日本二〇一〇

2010-01-07T04:08:00.000-08:00

话说，拜六就回去了。
早上的班机，晚上八时左右抵达。
说长不长，却就送走一日时辰了。

被别人说成恋家的小孩，哈哈，无可否认。
每每踏上归途，都携带不同的感想。
当然，日文就在跨入马来西亚领土之际，也废其值，除了偶尔在KL SENTRAL 的看板上见到之外。
且，回到日本，又要重新融入实属【怪】的东瀛文化。
不过，还挺不错的。至少回来再回去后，又能重温那崭新的触感。

旧友相会，难免会没话题，就算是偶尔而已。
毫无芥蒂地高谈阔论，总得需要点时间吧。
问题就是，时间太短，坏话又多，无奈。
我想，以后，我们就赚多点钱，到某个岛屿吃风，别让大马的美好热带风情给浪费嘛。
我建议，Pulau Sepidan。听说还不错。

家人那方，小时候觉得，十年如一日，父母是常年不老，老弟是家中永远的小不点。
如今，爸爸，说实在，年华不再；妈咪，据她的说法，女人老，就是说，体重有增无减，而她也不例外。
唯一还在展现无限青春的，就那仍然长高着的老弟，无他。
说不定，有天还高过我呢。
自卑。

阿嬷，
Goa yong hok-kien-oe xia la a.
Goa a, an-chua kong, ma u 20 hui liao.
Toa-han liao la. Mai an-ne hoan-lo qoa e ki-qu-sieng-hoat.
Chin choe tai-ji shi boe-eng koe tio li e to-li khi kia, ma mai an-ne tau-kak deng.
Hau-shun li, qoa tia-tiok cho e tiok e.
Ah-ma, chau liao a. Mai go kau la.
Hi-bang u chi-lit goa e-tang kong ho li tia.

日本，2010。
我行。 ^^

2010

2009-12-31T05:06:00.001-08:00

Can you believe this?
It's going to be 2010 soon.
I mean, the reason why it's such a huge news to me, is that I'm going to turn 20.
Yea, everybody around you will tell you, growing up is a pretty fast process.
Recapping 2009 will be an enormous task, so I'll just be quick.

Turned 19. (Well, duh?)
Received scholarship grant from both NUS and Monbukagakusho.
After giving fair consideration, chose to set sail to Japan.
Bid farewell to my friends here. Went to A'Famosa and was half-naked for the first time in front of them. (Yeap, it's a big leap for me.)
Set foot on Japan. Started my life as a student studying abroad, alone. T T
Making friends with people coming from almost every corner of the globe.
Had my first sip of strong alcoholic drink, 40% Alcohol. Surprisingly, I wasn't drunk after that.
Oh yeah, learned Japanese, in order to survive.
Couldn't stand the angst of living alone and making my decision by myself. Needed to find myself a getaway spot. Started skipping classes.
Came home. It's pretty cliche, but I did rediscover myself.
Returned to Japan with this new vision. To put it simply, I was ready. ^^
Ironically, yet, after 12 years of formal education, I finally grasped the idea of learning. I actually looked forward attending classes.
Remember when they said that when you expose yourself to the truth, it's not always pretty. I was enlightened eventually. Education itself is flawed, and your mindset is the sole key component to self-discovery.
Had a hard time taking in the fact that I can't enter Kyoto University, though much to my surprise, I managed to get over it in a week. ^^
Came home, again. This time, all grown up. Even though, there's no limit when it comes to growing up and learning new things, you get this personal fulfillment, fortunately.

So, a year in 15 points.
Wow, talking about time flies, huh? ^^"

I hereby hope that everybody will have a great 2010.
Never underestimate the power of a strong mind and soul.
Never cave in.
Never give up.
Never stop believing in those. ('cause I know some of you do.)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HOME HOME HOME

2009-12-18T08:35:00.000-08:00

Snuggling in the corners of my petite home, rekindling the warmth of family togetherness...

Okay, lame sentence there.
First thing first, have to brush up my English.
Well, yes, I've been using that language for daily conversation for the past few months, true...
Yet, not studying it proves that, it's pretty pointless to be fluent, when you just substitute sophisticated words with Japanese vocabulary.
Yeap, that's my English now, well, technically, Japlish, but anyhow...

Damn, feels great to be back.
Miss the sunshine here, like a watchman, the warmth that will never leave your side.
(Okay, again, LAME... T T)

So, what should I do now?
Friends are busy, as it seems.
I guess someday eventually, we'll just grow apart, silently.
Well... I don't like the sound of that, then again, what can we do about it?
Sooner or later, whenever we meet, we'll start judging the one standing in front, whether he or she's somebody who is successful, in other word, practical.
Make no mistake though, this isn't some "I hereby challenge the BFF oath" crap.
It's just like, when life is hassling you, you kind of lose control, and let the realistic side of you prevail.
Gathering will be nothing more than a deceitful contest, of accomplishments.
"OMG, XXX is f*cking rich now. Last time I remember, he was the one being 'summoned' by the principle."
"God, YYY is joining the charity network now? That's so lame. No financial income? Oh, does she really think that she can save ass*s by giving money away? Pathe-tic..."
(^^",) K, I might be a little bit off the rail, but don't tell me these dialogues have never occurred, even in your imagination.
Sad, yet inevitably real.

So, as I was saying, I'M HOME! xD

继

2009-12-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

可人始终不得活在自己编制的幻想吧，尤其当它也即将化为泡沫...
于是，我会再次站起，向着未来前进。
话是这么说，时间，是需要的啊...
林良淳，你是什么料，就看这次了。
别让我连自己也瞧不起，好吗? ^^

我们总是不断地筑梦，儿时的梦想，犹记得吗?
我可是想当位歌星呢，当然，如今也偶尔会发起瘾，错当自己为开着演唱会的歌手，就场合为冲凉房而已。^^"
也许，人的确是因拥有梦想才伟大。但不以实现它为目标，而是把过程中累积，得到的经验为重，好让自己成长。
我想，我已发挥得淋漓尽致，直到毫无埋怨的地步吧。
那天，终于也给我想通了。
京大进不了，不代表自己没遇上其入学条件，就只因不被所谓‘对’的人承认而已。
懂事至今，一直为了自己不认识的一群人，为了得到他们的认同，盲目地追求或许非己所适合的生活方式。结果呢，自己深爱的人就被伤害了。
无可否认，有些人就永远在别人的眼光下渡其一辈子。看起来还果真挺开心的，却感受的无疑地，一定比那些能屈能伸，即爬得高，反而跌得更重的时候，犹然晃头又去寻找另一片天的人，少很多吧。
我敢做梦，碎了就割心肝，割了就捡其碎片，捡了就再来多一回，哪知道，又回到了原点。那，人还好好的，有什么好遗憾的呢?虽说如此，事情发生时，心被绞得耿耿喊疼，完全无法自我后，解放和重新接纳才是最要紧，不是吗?
人，活得开心为紧，不但是自己，身边所爱的人也得让他们放心。

我，这次跌得很痛，我也懂。可能否给我点时间去仔细回味吗?这心路历程，可真是这完美的失败所带来最美的礼物了。
家人朋友，谢谢你们。我真得没事了。
随着分秒缓缓地流逝，我也就渐渐收拾这残局，摇摇啊头，朝有意义的人生这目标出发。
相信我吧，我行的! ^^

大丈夫だよ。
ホントだ!

夢破れ

2009-12-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

夢破れというと、どう?

奨学金をもらった通知が手に届いてきてから、ずっと京都大学を目指して全力を尽くしてきた。
日本語だって、専門の科目だって、努力という努力を払いきれていった。
まだ覚えてる。こういうことだ。
マレーシアで日本語を勉強してた時、ノートを三冊そろえて、名詞、動詞、形容詞で三つに分けて、できるだけたくさんの言葉を暗記したいと思ってた。
ずっと信じてる。汗が翼となれることだ。
身につければどんなに遠いところにも至れるという信念を心の底に根強く植えてきた。
堅く、堅く...

日本に来たばかりの時、もう二月も学んだところだった。
驚いたことに、日本人は何言ってるかは全然わからなかった。
なのに、止めたくない。辛く得た歩みを...
そこで、進歩のため、たとえ全精力を傾けても、日本語をマスターするばかりか、日本語で専門科目を習得できるようになりたいと、どうも牛のように、いかに困難に妨げられても、進もうとばっかだった。
今思い返し、時として授業に出ないと、部屋で勉強してたことも何度もあるんだね。
もっと厳しくしなきゃ、夢がかなえないに違いないって理由だ。
可笑しいよね。ただ自分の力しか頼りたくないって。
きっと、先生にひどい目にあわされたりしはじまったのはその時からだろう。
春学期の試験には明らかに偏見があったんだ。
だからといって、自分の努力こそ見せれば、先生に感心させることがあくまでもできるようになるはずだと、心強く信じてった。
「じゃあ、分かり合うまで頑張りましょうか」って、自分に説いて聞かせた。

マレーシアから帰ってきたところ、ほぼ一月だけ経っても、授業がわからないし、すごくがっかりしてた。
その前の骨折りが、すべてむだに費やされちゃったんだ、というような気がしてならなかった。
少しも悲しくないといったら、嘘だ。
だって、いつも自分を痛ましく思うわけにはいかないんで、すぐ新たにやり直してった。
帰る前の頑張りを二倍か、三倍にして、いいんじゃないかと思った。
で、横田先生や佐藤先生のところで何時間も過ごしたこともよくあるし、教科書のことだけでなくて、思い通りに将来を実現させることができるように、どうすればいいかって教えをしばしば請ってきた。
きっと見えるはずだ。僕の努力が...

確かに、教えてくれるにはくれたが、本当に欲しいのは、先生からの尊重だ。
まだ若いうちに、いくらやる気十分だって、自分の考えがずっと軽くなされてばかりで、納得できない話をたくさんあるんで、「なぜいつも僕の意見を聞いてくれないの?たとえ間違っても自分の見解を聞くぐらいでしてくれるはずなんじゃない?」ってことだからね。
だって、「先生は僕のためを大事に思ってるかも。じゃあ、京都大学に入れるでしょ?」って、愚かにも思い込みながら勉強してきた。

秋学期の末までそういうふうに思ってたんだが、ついに「そもそも全く嘘だった」って気がついたんだ。
「騙されちゃったんだ...背かれちゃったんだ...失敗したんじゃないの?
徹底的に、やり直せるところは一つも無いほど...」ってように思えてならない。
最初からずっと点数しかによらず、ふだん、いい学生だって一回やりそこなったら夢という話を止めたほうがいいと言われた。
まあ、じょうがないね。
自分のミスなんで...
どうも痛すぎるんじゃないか...最終に至ってこそ気づける。
夢破れの痛み、本当にやりきれない...
「絶対問題ないよ」って信じてた上で、道すがら涙を呑んできたのに...

ここまで書いて、気持ちが悪くなっちゃったんだ。
いつも書いては大丈夫になれると思ってたが、たぶん今度、なんかできないなあ。

还年轻

2009-11-30T04:39:00.000-08:00

我还年轻。

还年轻。

未来的路，很长，很长...

向前走吧！^^

夜更け

2009-11-21T10:30:00.000-08:00

日本だって、マレーシアだって、どこだって同じでしょう。

夜が更けてきたら、想いが後から後から相次ぐ一方だ。
そして、心の底から湧き起きてくる考えに飲み込まれちゃう。
やりきれねえ。
だって、しょうがない。

若いうち、どういうことだって、やってみたいに違いない。
自分も若者だから、よく知ってる。
さあ、やろうと、思い通りにかなうのが欲しいはずだ。
確かに、通常、やろうと、やれるが、できそうもない時があれば、かなりがっかりしてならないね。
まあ、「それは普通だよ」って、認めたくないだろう。
一旦、あるいはただ一度しか承認しないと、いつも努力という努力を払わなくなりかねないかも。
じゃあ、知ったかぶりで、大丈夫そうな顔をしてばかりるん。
姿でも、言葉でも、振る舞いでも、他の人に弱さを表したくないって。
だってさ、本当に、問題ないの？そういう考え方…

窓から見えるのは、夜空に浮かんでる月さまの外に、わずか幾つかの小さい、ピカピカ光ってる星だけに過ぎない。
毎夜だって同様なんで、いわば、きちんとかわるがわる夜勤につくみたいだ。
そうなればよいかもね。
ちゃんと時間割に従い、人生の一足ごとに、真ん前に何があるかがよく目前でそろってるようにする。
でもね、欲しい?そういう一生…
というのは、若者だし、さほど早く決めたくないわけだなあ。＾＾゛
まあ、別に

悲しくないんだよ。
ただ少し述べたいことばかりだった。
うん、寝に行くの、ちょっと疲れてるから。

P/S 9ヶ月ぐらい勉強してたんで、文法、内容上の間違いを見つけてくれたら、よろしくお願いね。

友へ

2009-11-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

大丈夫だよ。
君にずっと信じているから。
どんなことがあってもそばにいるから。
手を携えながら、前に進もうの。
で、大丈夫だ。

Stupid update, as usual

2009-11-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

Regarding my last post being written in Japanese, it was nothing but scrambles of words.

Anyway, the weather's really chilly now. Aiks ><"
Had to get out my winter clothing now, as opposed to when I thought it should be.
Kinda miss the Malaysian sky, despite being lame and dull, it kind of help saving on clothe expenses. ^^"
Yet, the superb view does compensate.
Gonna take some photographs during the University Festival (外語祭）.

Finally got my butt off the chair and went to the Taiwanese class.
It's always nice to meet people who can speak language you're familiar with, no matter how bad they are. Sorry ^^!
Will learn Vietnamese when I enter university, hopefully.

Just found out Nok Ling's learning Tamil, damn cool, girl.
Language learning can be fun, only when you're not forced to. nuff said.

Two presentations next week.
"Ketuanan Melayu" and "Cooking Science", both in Japanese, of course.
It's not exactly the best scenario when you have to face only Japanese for the rest of your time in Japan, in numbers, 4- l-o-n-g- years.
Might as well just try, right?

P/S
Grats to those who graduated from CH. A piece of advice, try to treasure the stuff you've learned in CH. Someday it'll come in handy.

Till next time. (God, I sound like some talk show lady.)

BYE. (This is better xD)

止まってね

2009-10-31T05:44:00.000-07:00

日本語で大丈夫かわからん、と考えてばっかり。
じゃ、書いてみよう。

ただ一月残りだ。大学に入る前の受験だ。
あんまり競いがないから、リラックスばかりかも。
でも、もうちょっと思ってみると、確かに心に負担がかかってないが、つまるところ、自分に厳しいわけだ。
つまり、完璧主義者だなあ！
先生に書いてもらったのは、「少し日本語でうまくいけなかったのです。」というコメントで、実は、今までもかまってるのだ。
「なぜこんなに気づいたの？勉強し始めてからは、厳しく言えば、八ヶ月だけしかないだ。心配の必要ある？」って
それを知っていながら、なぜわざわざ聞くの？
性格だからかもね。
幼い頃から自信をあまり持っていないという思い出にふけてばかりだ。
女っぽいって、他人はずっとからかってたんで、そういうふうにならずにいられなかっただろう。
小学校のとき、脆い心もいかにもガラスが割れたようになっちゃったんだ。
その後、学友だの先生だのに対し、もう無くなったような存在が証明しようとするため、いつもいろんな特技とか才能とか身につけたいと思ってた。
例えば、ピアノを弾いたり、学校の成績もうまくいけるようにしたりすれば、皆受け入れられるだろうと、強く信じてた。
結果は？
やっぱり失敗だった。
ピアノは四年も習ってたんだが、とうとう、あきらめちゃった。
ほかにはなく、固くなかったもので。
成績といえば、まあ、一応良かったけれど、効き目のあるものではなかった。
そのあとまでも、ただ虚ろな体が残ってたばかりだ。
大げさしかに言わなかったの？たぶん。
だけど、本音なのよ。

中学校への進学とは、新たな旅だと考えたが、それでも、根本的に思考の模式を変えないと、一生そのままに過ごさざるを得ないことが、まだわかっていなかった。
可笑しいかな。
ずっと高校に進んだときに至るまで、どうしてもその空虚な感じを消せなかった。
今でも、少し批判されても、絶対に心が揺れ動くようになっちゃう。
たとえ、いつもやり直したいと思っても、「まだできないさ」って、自分を説いちゃう。
ばかだなあ。
ちょっと考える時間をくださって。
タイム、一回だけ頼んで、僕のため、一時的にも止まってほしい。
流れないで、緩んで...

If anybody should understand this post, please note that I'm not being an emo, I'm just telling my story in my style.

十月

2009-10-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

刚渡完中秋，月亮可真皎圆啊。
说实在，在马来西亚，总是没甚在乎佳节时大家聚在一块儿的气氛。
身在异乡，在朋友的笑声中，试着寻觅相似的回忆，然而零零碎碎，不可恭维。
果然，还是那句，犯溅。^^"

本人来日多时，仍然没上载任何这国度的照片，失礼了。
对照相机没甚触感，摄影技术就那么一般，马马虎虎，贻人啊。
但真可惜，由夏转秋的时际是如此动人心魄，感叹着光阴流逝，不待人。
看着叶子逐渐变黄，看来大自然也来为我计量分秒，隐约催促我又得赶紧启程，就连时刻毫秒也没半点。这可与在马来西亚时恫然相异。树木常青，人相旧，丝毫不觉蹉跎。

最近，过得很快乐，打从心底觉得，实实在在的喜悦。
相对于春夏，现在相当充实，饱满得很。
偶尔打扫，偶尔做饭，偶尔动动身子，流流汗。
日子，虽没纸烟犹梦，却踏实地度过，不错。
只欠没放上博客，与众人分享，不应该啊。

十月悄悄地来，又会带来怎样的惊喜？
期待。

写后感：
炸到，忘记怎样用拼音系统来输入汉字，果真没用则废。^^"
想用用看文学式的语感来写，不知成果如何？
下一次，得学如何以汉字写下福建话，就算没相对应的字也没系，只需看得顺眼就行。
听多了江惠的歌，觉得福建歌好悦耳，甚至拨动心弦般动听。
爽。
可是...等上一个月后，这计划应该才行吧。考试渐渐逼近，无可奈何，却得准备。唉...

无题

2009-08-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

刚刚玩完电脑游戏，太多炫目的画面，至今都无法入眠。唉

游览了众多的部落格，觉得大家都对分享自己的生活点滴皆深感兴趣。
照片、视频等都给上载了，还不赖。
这才发现自己好懒 xD
看见每个人高谈自个儿的生活，就会对自己的有所反思。
我的，究竟是充实呢？抑或只是雷声大，雨点小呢？再不然，可能已沦落为只字不提的笑柄呢？
觉得大家好有阳光，散发着迷人的光环。（好像很张娜拉）
不过，有梦想，才会有生存的欲望。
可当那梦想是建立在众人口中的三言两语时，未来会一样璀璨吗？
更萦绕于怀的是，当梦想只不过是倚靠媒体而存在时，毕生追求的理想是否顿时幻灭其中。
我们岂不是实现，不，应说成"执行"理想吗？
可就是有人甘于为五斗米折腰，为三两银屈膝。
倒不如出家，还省得地球资源。
(此话绝非本人对己之想法，请勿误会）

话说回来，还有两天就得回日本了。
实话实说，果然开始有点想念那儿的日子。
悠悠地...
爽。

这趟回来，确实明白了这一点- 家是最棒的。^^
"当然啦，你讲来废的啊!?"
的确，我还是头一回真真切切地如此感慨。失礼了！
与家人相处，脾气各异，难免声音会有时不小心放大了点...
但心里仍然是暖乎乎的。
先学会爱身边的人，你才有资格谈爱国爱世界。
我想，这句话让许多自以为博爱的人有所省思。
若你连身边那些就算看起来不怎么支持你想为世界济贫的雄心大志的家人都不懂得珍惜，你能拿出什么本钱去论无私的爱呢？
爱，仅是一种宽容又接纳的表现，却被人类的自私给蒙蔽，成了权力地位的象征，更为金钱的奴隶。
一句话，进化论。

我想，有了家人的支持，什么都不怕了吧。

好吧，回到日本后就好好干出一番成绩，好让妈咪可以四处去卖瓜自夸。xD

Home

2009-07-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

There's nothing better than coming home.

I'm back HOME! xD

EXAM

2009-07-09T23:14:00.000-07:00

Haha, you could never get bored with this sort of topic.
Having exam now= hectic life xD WOOHOO

Had a serious mental breakdown a week ago.
Really ugly.

3 and a half months have past since my arrival.
To tell you guys the truth, I'm really happy here.
For once in my life, I feel challenged.
I feel like having my guts turned upside down, trying to strive and endure any given task.
For a better image, I feel like walking on a brink, on a verge of falling down.
Haha, ADVENTURER L.C.

Oh, and for once in my life, I'm actually studying more than I should.
Even though it didn't bear any obvious results, but still...
Great opportunity, truly.

Scrolling through the blog list just now, friends are having a pleasant time.
Great. ^^

Let's recount the changes occured since I've come:

I know how to read Cyrillic now. Even though every word (except English based words) sounds strange to me.
I'm partying every Friday, at least for the past few weeks. Not really going out and getting drunk, it felt more like gathering round and soothing yourself, erm... with alcohol, DUH? xD
I found out that people do differ from each other, and cultural background can be chiefly accounted as the main factor. i.e people from India and Uzbek view things differently.

Oh, and whenever I overhear some Japanese speaking in British accent, it gives me the chill. ^^"

Yea, back in Malaysia, you really think that you've seen every single kind of human beings possible, yet reality begs some surprise.
Coming here, I can safely guarantee you'll learn a damn lot, more than any stuff you could absorb from the textbooks.
Cultural distinction and egocentricity, the relationship between both aspects. Frankly the difference is nothing thinner than a strain of hair.
Who you are strongly defines your identity, nuff said.
But you could never ever genuinely acknowledge that when you've never contacted with another culture.
Relativity acts as a major catalyst here.

Okay, enough for the serious talk. ^^"
Wanna know something surprising?
JESUS IS KOREAN!
Go google it. xD

Again, next time.

P/S ACE THAT EXAM! ><

生日前夕

2009-06-19T06:45:00.000-07:00

总是等到生日降临时，才恍然觉悟自己还没完成的心愿还蛮多的。
好比说，还不会讲海南话、二胡拉得马马虎虎、当不了歌手... ^^"
然而，生日之际，喜事必上口头嘛...
我的十八岁，不至于多姿多彩，也应该不显得淡薄如水吧...

十八嘛...
我婆婆早嫁人去了...
妈妈她中学毕业，打工去了...
我这方则依然决断着永远没完没了的未来。

十九岁会是怎样的?
我真的很想懂。
徘徊在二十的门柄是什么滋味？
就祝个万事如意、心想事成给我吧! xD

There's something about...

2009-06-16T04:41:00.000-07:00

So life here basically...Hmm... BORING.
Instead of letting my rot and stink like some couch potato, I've developed a new hobby.

Okay, so I didn't cook all of those on my own, but part of it was mine.
Namely...

Which you have to admit it, it does look kind of yummy, right? xD
Why cooking? "It's so not like you..." some might say (Okay, I sound like some motivational author for some book titled "If I Can, YOU CAN TOO!")
Anyhow, I really need something to shift my focus, 'cause let me tell you, studying Japanese for 24 hours can be fatal. X.x"
Since I'm practically a beginner in this field, I've experimented with some ingredients and astonishingly created some household gourmet.

What's that? Frankly, I cannot answer your question even if I try. If I'm not mistaken, I took some onigiri and vegetables along with leftover meat, put them in the pan and started stirring them with cheese.
Nice treat. ^^

Next up...

This was better.
The cookies were like instant sugar and it gave some variety to the bacon. Moreover, it actually absorbed the oil and it was simply fantastic.
I miss it! T T

Last one to date...

So I was thinking about the Udon I've cooked the day before, and suddenly decided to improvise it. I bought 葱, as in freakishly huge ones and mingle some scrap of meat, marinated with Japanese-flavored stuff. Damn, it's like restaurant material! The cost? 5:1 with my food standing on the latter.

Yea, it's really weird that I've began to cook.
Maybe someday I'll learn how to make soup and nasi lemak.

Some stupid quote that I've wanted to say for quite some time...
"Tune in next time for more of Chef L.C's finest, exquisite and desirable cuisine! Ciao~"

着凉

2009-05-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

现时朝晨六时，天边微微曦日初升，耀得很。
近来身体不怎么听话，一声不响地就给我着个凉。真不是味儿。

人在外地，鼻涕“咝”两声就不禁揪紧心头，惦起家人了。
说怪不怪？原来人还是挺脆弱的。
一旦思潮来袭，活让人吃不消。

梦境入不成，倒被那该死的闹钟催醒了。
鼻头塞得不成话，随手抓了几颗白丸子服下肚头。
见情况没好转，便提了本书，翻翻些页，双眼却依然硬撑着，仿佛倦意早已随着皎月悄悄离去。
果然，踏入异乡就该好好照顾身体，尤其处于有关新流行型感冒的新闻如此腾沸不息的当儿。
老实讲，自己也不是没怀疑究竟是不是得这怪病了。
若是如此，第一件欲了的心愿会是什么？
我想，应该是向别人吐露藏于肺腑已久的字字句句吧。
毕竟飞机也搭不成了，好歹慎用现代科技叙叙实质上廖无几句的感想。

但恍惚一想，这几个月来消极的思局不断侵蚀我。
但快乐不再是真正的快乐，那无论你再怎么假装也无济于事。
好怀念能笑得萧然悠闲，似乎生命只是眼前的霎那间，徐徐地拼奏成一则故事。
开心嘛，还不是将心房敞开，信心饱满地迎接每一项挑战。
遇上挫折，扬着嘴角，甩甩脑根儿不就没事了吗？
再一次对自己说：“废材” = ="

红了鼻头，却暖了心窦。

后记：
回马日期：26/7~ 12/8
既然NUS如此热情地邀请，我看应该免不了参加他们的入学式吧！到时记得在宿舍留个位给我。

五月的天

2009-05-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

近来果真是天天用英文对话，对那腔调还感到有些反感。
才发现，原来不仅仅是我这么想而已。
那群外国佬个个都批评这没麽感情的东西，看来还真给推崇英文的刮了几巴掌。

不知不觉，自个儿在日本也待上了一个月多。
终于明白便利店那柜台小姐在说什么。（到头来也不过是问要不要袋子）
学校生活嘛？平如淡水。
太阳早在朝晨5点升起，刺眼的光芒还真把我给唤醒。（仿佛活在白雪公主的世界，鸟鸣声也附送其中，不赖嘛）
将臀部赶下床实在不简单。
起初会混淆说迟到了，天都这么亮。
习惯了会想，“他xx，才五点罢了。”（变粗了，没办法）
结果，扫扫地面，抹抹桌柜，读读书本，耐心地等上课时间。

上课时，即重复老师所说的。
偶尔学学崭新的词汇，没想象中如此困难。
中文加马来文。
打个比方说，疑い（うたがい），即 u-ta-ga-i。
有意有音。
吸收文法才最吃力吧。
几乎与中文文法相违，却硬硬把中文生词挫进。
尤其是“的”的用法。
习惯后应该就没问题了吧。但愿如此。

朋友方面，顺利交上几个疯狂的人。
大家可在一瞬间决定今晚就在Karaoke渡过。
虽然唱到最后时，个个精疲力尽，却不愧是难忘的回忆。
当然，像我这头蛮牛，也遇上不顺心的口角。
说什么自私与绝情。
不过，人生岂不过是数十个十年环环相扣，什么事情皆一转身就云消烟灭。
何必放在心上？（好像佛教徒呢）

至于家嘛...
想。很想。
惦念家里有人进出的感觉。
眷恋回到家有菜肴的餐桌。
最可恨的是，张张熟悉一辈子的脸孔在你丰收生活经验时，无法分享成长的喜悦。
每个星期拨电回家，都渴望双方不必依靠两个筒子联系。
挂电话后，心腹充满勇气和欣慰。
任凭如此，每每打开房门只见几幅墙，难免又会觉得孤单。
可耻吧？
自己想离开，却难抑澎湃的思潮。
两个字：“犯溅”

P/S
照片方面可上FACEBOOK看，没什么特别的。
将来的不久，应该会逃课去迪士尼乐园和海洋公园。

New Post

2009-04-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

Suddenly I have this urge to grab everybody's attention.
OKAY.
I'm just your everyday attention-seeker.

11th day in Japan, everything's still nice.
Class started yesterday.
Spent like 2000 yen per day on meals only.
Somehow miss my family and friends a lot. T T
People are nice here, but still, they'll remind you of you guys.

Talking about Japan, let me tell you...
It's unbelievably picturesque here.
Even with what we call 傻瓜相机, you can still take photographs as professional as...well, the pro's.
Just looking outside my room, you can see like rows and rows and rows...
Rephrase that, sea of sakura blooming.
And when the petals drop, it's as though snowing pink.
(Forgot to bring along my USB port for the camera, but you can see it in facebook.)

There are 51 people coming from 20++ countries from all around the world studying here in Tokyo.
The Europeans are exceptionally doing great in the language studies.
Well, the Koreans, Mongolians and Vietnamese too.
I suppose I'm the most stupid person in class, 'cause I always give the teacher " Can you repeat that again" look. ^^"
Yea, but I'll strive, no point coming here without giving what I've got, right?

Living in Japan is really different from what it's like back in Malaysia.
For starters, you don't get to abuse the sauce-dispersing machine in MC anymore, 'cause apparently, Japanese don't like sauce or seasoning.
Also, when you're hungry at 3 to 6 o'clock, don't expect to find any restaurants open besides MC, KFC or some chained outlets.
The small marts close mainly at 8 or 9 something.
Every time you walk in a store, everyone will greet you as if you're the only customer in 100 years time.
Whenever you open IE or Mozilla, it'll automatically convert it into Japanese version.
Everything here is written in Japanese, even English names, they'll write it in Katakana. (Duh, it's Japan dude... Yea, I know, but it's really hard for beginners like us to read out evertyhing for the sake of translating it back into English. )
Everyone smiles, even when you accidentally knock them, they'll smile and apologizes.
The prices of food are almost 500 yen and above most of the time, but they're smaller...
They don't have salavating spicy food here, so no sambal, rendang, nasi for me...
They eat a lot of rice with little to no sauce at all, not like curry or rendang...
Their curry tastes salty and sweet...
It's cold here...
30 minutes is considered an extremely short period of time for them...
I miss home...

Enough for the emo.
Anyway, I'm really happy being here. ^^
I guess it's more than enough for an update, right?

P/S I think I'll be back this December, if nothing goes wrong, that is.

さようなら　マレーシア

2009-03-31T02:59:00.000-07:00

明日日本へ日本語の勉強に行く。
良く嬉しいが、家族や親戚や友達等に別離するから、少し悲しい。
今ボログを書いている。
でも、情緒が全然表示しない。
色々と思うが、書く事ができない。
ばかね。

Enough with the stupid talk.
Guys, I'm leaving tomorrow, 10.55 p.m. to be exact.
Got my plane ticket just now, direct flight.

还是用中文写比较有色彩
真的要走了
像梦一场，永远都没想过自己可以拥有如此珍贵的机会...
让自己好好扩张眼界，亲身地体验一位国外留学生的生活方式。
当然，我也明白得到奖学金也意味着生活或许会好过些，但难免还是会期待一个人打理饮食起居的日子。
觉得有点废，却是我最真实的心情写照。

前几天跟一些朋友亲戚道别。
没什么泪水，只有几句祝福的话。
很明显地，我是个让人不容易对我言出肺腑之言（或许根本没什么肺腑之言呢）
然而，我真真切切地体会他们的那份诚意。
那种就算你到日本后名落孙山，被迫归国，但我们永远支持你的精神，说实在地，确确实实非常感人。
我觉得一旦人获得如此无条件的谅解和包容后，做任何事都能义无返顾地勇往直前。

谢谢你们这些年来无私地关心我这条低B仔！
谢谢你们在我最需要陪伴的时候把时间分割些给我！
谢谢你们让我感受到什么叫无悔的奉献！
再一次，谢谢你们！

离别之际，果真是千言万语皆难言。
那天唱K的时候，唱起《朋友》这首歌。
感触很多...
虽然我至目前为止，人生的路还算平坦，没什么崎岖山峦。
但是，能与一班朋友，同我一样正摸索着未来所隐藏玄机...
大家分享着喜悦和失望，共同丰富了彼此的人生历练。
听起来很幼稚，可想想起来，有哪些人是打从骨子里是成熟的呢？
唱着唱着，自己也傻傻地鼻酸流泪...
本人觉得，这可是我最低B的一次了。
幸好当时没开灯，要不然可真成为当晚的笑柄了。
真的...真的...真的很低B...

一辈子或者是一瞬间...
谁能下个完美的分界线呢？
回忆则生根蒂固在心中，有生之年仔细地反刍回味...
将一眨眼无限度地延绵成一则说不厌的故事。
至少，2009年4月1日前，我能够确认-我拥有过一段充实的日子。
而从今以后，我会努力地撰写这故事，希望你们依然可以参与。
我可不想回来时听说，“xx啊？我也是很少跟他联络了..."
朋友，答应我好吗？

"約束して下さい。私達は友情が万歳だよ。"

P/S
If any Japanese accidentally saw this post, please bear in mind I've just learn the language for 2 months, so please don't mind the mistake. ^^"
本当に失礼でした。これから私は頑張りますよ。

Le Hopeless Romantique (Pt 2?)

2009-02-14T02:41:00.000-08:00

After watching Closer, my heart was tugged deeply by love-not-meant-to-be.

Thus, I picked Enemy at the Gates to switch my focus but it didn't work.

Guessed it's back to romantic films then.

The English Patient.

Classic indeed.

Again, doomed couple always jerks tears.

A plane crash survivor from WW2 tells a story about two people who weren't destined to be. An affair to be paid with two souls. The nurse tending the unidentified man, Julliete Binoche is saved by the very thing that killed her patient- Love. What irony!

First time witnessing the work of Ralph Fiennes, who by the way, is actually Voldemort in the HP films.

Next off.

Atonement, adapted from the novel under the same name.

Keira Knightley is damn beautiful and talented, I shall say.

The story unfolds in an unique way.

Flashbacks and fast-forwarding are the main elements.

Briony made an assumption her sister was sexually assaulted by their gardener, which ignited a series of events forging her believe. One went to jail while the other left her home. Several years later, they reunited for a short while before James McAvoy was recruited for WW2 while Keira Knightley served as a nurse. In the end, will they grasp the happiness they longed for? Briony tells the story of this might-be couple of which she destroyed.

Honestly, see for yourself.

Great way to end a story by the way.

Tried a dramatic film this time- The Pianist, Adrien Brody as the eponymous character.

It's adapted from a memoir of a Jewish pianist on his survival on WW2 in Warsaw.

As the film paves the story, I can't help feeling sorry for them. The vicissitude occurred to the society is focused on Adrien Brody. The physical and emotional changes that he suffered are overwhelmingly painful, e.g. he went from pleasing beggars into being one himself. The end of the story isn't such a happy ending as most people expected. It's war, and nobody wins a war.

Adrien Brody is really good in this film. I mean, most of the time he just looks at the camera and the scene's done.

Le Hopeless Romantique (Pt 1?)

2009-02-12T18:06:00.000-08:00

As the title suggests, I'm a hopeless romantic, unfortunately.

Let's head back till about 1 month ago.
I was jobless and lazy to scour for university from the vast net.
So, I tried to download some movies to chip my time.
Who would have known I just initiated a chain reaction...

The first film- The Holiday.
Nice, predictable and sort of an eye candy since it's starring Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Jack Black.(Okay, minus the latter)
Anyway, I started wiki some films, which in turn got me to Pearl Harbour.
Epic movie indeed, great scenes with great faces.
However, the movie didn't do well on RottenTomatoes.com.
Hence, I began my search for the highly-reviewed movies on that site.

First up, Cold Mountain.
Jude Law and Nicole Kidman, a doomed couple.
Renee Zellwenger, an independent yet vulnerable country girl.
Truly eye-opening.
A brief encounter between two souls of different walks sparks a quest to return to each other's arm. With nothing to count on but the kiss they shared, no picture nor words to serve as reminder. A letter saying "Come home to me" puts the rolling stone into motion. Emotion kindles like wildfire, rebelling against war and death, yet to find themselves in separate reality once more.

Well, I was struck hard, definitely.
The story's so beautiful that I couldn't help myself but to find another one to counter the thoughts.
The Notebook, starring Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.
It's not star-studded.
Nevertheless, every great stories lies great love.
And let me tell you, this is certainly one great story.
A juvenile couple experienced raw emotions of love and hatred in just a summer's time. Parting to their diverging courses, they slowly grew and understand more about themselves. They met eventually, one engaged and one still waiting. Their resentment dripped throughout the reunion, leading them to confess their true feelings for each other. Even memory loss pale against their tale, as every love they created was immortalised in words in her
notebook. "Read to me and I'll come back to you."

Okay, that was damn touching.
I couldn't cease myself.
Talking about eternal love between lines, Shakespeare in Love was absolutely heart-throbbing.
The Oscar Best Picture is a comedy.
In that sense, it really sucks.
What comedy tends to drift apart a pair of lover?
Gwyneth Paltrow is stunning and Joseph Fiennes is one fine Shakespeare, I shall say.
It's fictional and theatrical, with a twist of tragedy.

Next up, Closer.
For the first time, no more "happily ever after" or "you jump I jump" for me.
Instead, this one opts for a realistic approach towards how metropolitan perceives love.
Natalie Portman outshines Julia Roberts in her portrayal of a stripper begging for love, IMO.
She's just fantastic at tangling each characters into a web of remorse and lust.
Lastly, she just leave nothing more than a fake identity and countless questions for Jude Law.
Clive Owen (Sin City) put up a great act being a temperamental victim of this forbidden love.

(...)

Erm...

2009-01-28T07:03:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to put this verbally.

Guys, I'm going to Japan this April.
Yes, the Japanese fella accepted me as a scholar there.

I love to meet ya'll before parting.

Let's go to A'Famosa this March.
Or somebody can hold a birthday party for me to join.
Or...Or maybe we can just go to Genting like Bohon suggested.

Guys, let's just meet up, k?

2008

2008-12-27T16:50:00.000-08:00

2008 has been a hectic and dramatic year for me.

I've really forgotten why I chosen to stay at Chong Hwa.
The cheaper expenses, the grand graduation ceremony or the sake of my friends...
I really have no idea right now.
Well, all I can think about is how glad I am to continue this path.

In a glimpse, we've come to an end.
As for me, 2008 signifies a train of heart-throbbing memories which I believe, will take decades to fade away.
I get to meet new friends, travel to China for free, be short-listed for the Monbukagakusho scholarship, improve my ranking in class, organise the Teacher's Day Celebration with my class, enter the singing competition, obtain High Distinction for A.M.C, talk to 150+ students about aerospace technology, become 营长 at my final YCA camp, work at my dad's and last but not least, discover myself more and more by the second.

What did I learn the most this year?
Be daring and precise when making decisions.
Well, we're just a bunch of youngsters, so what's more to lose?
Ponder your goal carefully, delineate your ideas one by one and go through the whole thing once more.
And when you're done, just go ahead and deliver your ideas to reality.
Never look back and sigh.
'Cause that's when you might hesitate to stop.
I believe nothing in the world can halt you from following your dreams.
Make it you wanna get married to Prince Charming by 25...
You will achieve that as long as you keep having faith on your current ability and your future potential.

So, to those who are applying for uni now...
GOOD LUCK!

P/S
Trust me, you don't wanna cheat on your form. Well, I believe who you are counts more than who you MIGHT be.

Work.Ulgy.Money (WTH!?)

2008-12-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know I've gone missing for quite some time.
FYI, I'm a trainee at my dad's office now.
Well, it's kinda like a privilege to work here though no payment for me. T T
I get to run errands and witness photoshoots, which BTW what I'm going to do during my U-life.

Oh, I got my face scarred.
No more pretty boy now...
Let's hope some coloured fairy mystically pops up and ABRA-KADABRA it vanish.

Erm...
I went to my primary school gathering last night.
As usual, everybody looks fanstastic.
We had dinner at T.G.I FriDays.
Guess what? I've dumped in RM50++ for just a meal there.
Correction: should be *cheese instead of meal.

又人格分析

2008-11-16T15:53:00.000-08:00

您的性格类型是“ESTP”(外向+实感+思维+知觉)

灵活、忍耐力强，实际，注重结果。觉得理论和抽象的解释非常无趣。喜欢积极地采取行动解决问题。注重当前，自然不做作，享受和他人在一起的时刻。喜欢物质享受和时尚。学习新事物最有效的方式是通过亲身感受和练习。
ESTP型的人不会焦虑，因为他们是快乐的。
ESTP型的人活跃、随遇而安、天真率直。他们乐于享受现在的一切而不是为将来计划什么。ESTP型的人很现实，他们信任和依赖于自己对这个世界的感受。他们是好奇而热心的观察者。因为他们接受现在的一切，所以他们思维开阔，能够容忍自我和他人。
ESTP型的人喜欢处理、分解与恢复原状的真实事物。
ESTP型的人喜欢行动而不是漫谈，当问题出现时，他们乐于去处理。他们是优秀的解决问题的人，这是因为他们能够掌握必要的事实情况，然后找到符合逻辑的明智的解决途径，而无需浪费大量的努力或精力。他们会成为适宜外交谈判的人，他们乐于尝试非传统的方法，而且常常能够说服别人给他们一个妥协的机会。他们能够理解晦涩的原则，在符合逻辑的基础上，而不是基于他们对事物的感受之上做出决定。因此，他们讲求实效，在情况必须时非常强硬。在大多数的社交场合中，
ESTP型的人很友善，富有魅力、轻松自如而受人欢迎。在任何有他们的场合中，他们总是爽直、多才多艺和有趣，总有没完没了的笑话和故事。他们善于通过缓和气氛以及使冲突的双方相互协调，从而化解紧张的局势。

您适合的领域有：贸易、商业、某些特殊领域、服务业、金融证券业、娱乐、体育、艺术领域等

您适合的职业有：
· 企业家
· 业务运作顾问
· 个人理财专家
· 证券经纪人
· 银行职员
· 预算分析者
· 技术培训人员
· 综合网络专业人士
· 旅游代理
· 促销商
· 手工艺人
· 新闻记者
· 土木工程师
· 工业工程师
· 机械工程师
· 贸易商
· 批发商
· 中间商
· 零售商
· 房地产经纪人
· 保险经济人
· 汽车销售人员
· 私家侦探
· 警察
· 餐饮、娱乐及其他各类服务业的业主或主管
· 特许经营者
· 自由职业者
· 娱乐节目主持人
· 体育节目评论
· 脱口秀
· 音乐、舞蹈表演者
· 健身教练
· 体育工作者

http://www.psytopic.com/mag/post/mbti-career-personality-test-psytopic-special-edition.html

Tagged

2008-11-15T03:04:00.000-08:00

The Self
[01] Real name : Lim Liang Chun
[02] Nickname : 两寸、小翠
[03] Married : -
[04] Zodiac Sign: Gemini
[05] Gender: Male
[06] Age: 18
[07] High school: Chong Hwa Independent High School, Kuala Lumpur
[08] College: -
[09] Height: 185cm (but height doesn't matter that much when you're looking fine, right? xD)
[10] Weight: 68kg
[11] Do you like yourself: Narcissistic
[12] Piercing: Piercing? Please, don't I look gay enough?
[13] Right or left : If I do get one, it'll be on the right.
[14] Are you a freak: Freak as in no self-esteem, then no. / Freak as in strong personal statement, then freaking yes!
[15] Hair: Black (recently I've found some gold hair. (Reincarnation of King Midas? )
[16] Skin: Toned slightly
[17] Allergic: Penicillin
[18] What are you doing now : Being a dork
[19] What will you do 1 hour later : Being a nerd (Never ever bored ^^")
[20] What will you do 10 years later : Being a saint (What!? Everybody likes changes.)
[21] Live with mother/father/parents: All
[22] Siblings(included you): 2
[23] Eldest: Me
[24] Youngest: Him
[25] Love/hate your family: Love

The Love
[26] You found your another half: Not yet (Lucky day for you, eh?)
[27] If yes, who is he/she: I wish I could answer this...
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: Natalie Portman (Dude, she went to Harvard. )
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: 2
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): 0
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): 0
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: -
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: -
[34] Ever argue with your other half: -
[35] You with your other half since: -
[36] Are you straight/Les: As much as they want me gay, I'm straight unfortunately.
[37] Reasons you love your other half: Cause it's fun, I guess...
[38] You and your other half in which stage: -
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: -
[40] Ever think of marry he/she: -
[41] Your first best friend: Some Indian
[42] Your first enemy: Some Malay
[43] The friend you ~~love the most(1 only)~~: Erm...
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1 only): Erm...

Lazy to answer the rest of the list.

吹水

2008-11-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

吹水王...
Since when I've become the icon for extravagant speeches?
To tell you the truth, I'm not exactly comfortable with this.
It's like all the effort you've put in just vanish and all that left is just compliment about how fortunate you are.
I mean, without any proper recognition, you wouldn't have any clue concerning the things you've blurted out.
Maybe I don't look like somebody who is dedicated and willing to curtail his recreation hours for the sake of homework, but I think I do have my fair share of hardships to reach this point in life.
Well, 吹水 means simply boasting without any regards and most of the time being amiss among the lines.
On the other hand, I don't think dreaming of joining the UN or be good at something you're seemingly not up to the challenges are considered as 吹水.
So what if I want to become a star someday?
It sounds stupid but that ain't mission impossible.
Heck, even Tom Cruise has played the same character three times in a row in the MI series. ( Don't you see? There's never going to be a halt to it.)
What do we learn here?
~~Mission Impossible~~
Make no mistake, I'm glad to be auspicious, but please don't classify everything that has happened to me as "他吹水罢了嘛" .
Please, save some respect for yourselves.

P/S I'm sorry if I've hurt anybody's feeling but trust me, 吹水 was intentionally created solely to make one sounds more modest, not being used by a second or third party to shut down one's endeavor entirely.

PP/SS 玲慧非超分数主义！吃屎！

PPP/SSS To lighten things up, here's a game.

Make a game Share Free games Pictogame

Farewell

2008-11-09T06:21:00.000-08:00

As of yesterday I'm no longer a Chong Hwa student.
The graduation ceremony set out on a great foot but lost the touch on half the way.
It's quite irritating since you don't usually participate in this kind of event everyday being a graduate.
For the record, you don't lecture on bad habits in class on graduation day.

Got my class magazine and the t-shirt too.
Zealously, I flipped over the pages to see everybody's comment on me. (Yes, I'm that self-centered ^^)
Part of the reason why I'm so keen is because I want to know whether changes have taken place this year.
Well, apart from that, I'm just eager. xD

Anyway, I would like to thank those who are courteous enough to adumbrate my benevolent qualities in such exalting manner which I find them hard to believe.
Of course, to those who are obliging enough to pinpoint my faulty attitude in such parental manner, I sincerely bid my dearest gratitude. (Thanks Mom! = =")
All and all, I'm really glad to have you guys as buddies.

Promise me, friends forever, k?
By any means, just keep in touch. ^^

(Wanted to post some pics but the ones I took are a collection of bad photography. T T)

Credits to SY and the crew. Bravo!

Plans

2008-11-06T03:25:00.000-08:00

Exam's over!
TOTALLY!

So, basically life's just getting started.
Well, I did have some plans in mind prior to the exam.
But I can't seem to find them now. ^^"
Better outlining a new one instead.

K...
The next two months of holidays, here's my to-do list:
1. Find a job in Aquaria ( The genuinely humungous aquarium at KLCC, not some kind of fictional cosplay arena)
2. Join a charity network that doesn't involve religious belief
3. Get my blood fused with other people's anatomy a.k.a blood donation ( It's been ages, I know...)
4. Exercise for the sake of health ( and of course not to be looked down by LH and HY)
5. Learn Japanese ( no more subtitles when watching anime XD)
6. If all else fails, I can always hang out with my friends.

Wish me luck!

Beforehand

2008-11-06T03:22:00.000-08:00

I HATE MY LAYOUT... TEMPLATE... WHATEVER YOU CALL IT!

HELP!

See, told you I'm good at teaching!

2008-10-10T03:32:00.001-07:00

You Scored as Psychology/Sociology

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Education/Counseling

100%

Psychology/Sociology

100%

HR/BusinessManagement

100%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

94%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

94%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

94%

Visual&PerformingArts

75%

Mathematics/Statistics

75%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

69%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

63%

English/Journalism/Comm

56%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

56%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

56%

Religion/Theology

25%

P/S Sorry for the wide spacing... It's for your viewing pleasure! xD

Last Routine

2008-10-09T01:06:00.000-07:00

Year by year we've been posting craps bout how exam can be very...very...very fun-sucking on our blog.
Yet, something struck me yesterday when I was painstakingly assimilating Organic Chemistry together with its inorganic counterpart. (Still on it = =")
That is, after this, there won't be any exam left in high school for me to grumble.

No more out-of-the-blue questions that blow one's mind far away, no more endless reminders on the board that mischievously shape your daily routine, no more adorable "一级棒" chops from Lulu that oddly but surely have their ways to encourage you to do better next time...

I have all these flashbacks...
There's time when we gathered around and put our heads together for a mind-twisting maths question for hours, until there came those superior calculative beings who just simply spilled out some words of wisdom, and then everybody goes :"Oh......Cheh....."

And there's time when we got back our test papers and BAM, all those swearing being blurted out. Talking bout good sportsmanship, what we displayed were no more than %#$$%^& and %^$^&&&* and ^%&&%^&* and ^&*^&*...

There's also time when we sat quietly in the dark corner of the classroom, trying to sort out the ticks and crosses. When being pat at the back, we defiantly said, "Who would give a damn **** to the score?" , but the sadness just leaked out through our eyes silently.

Futhermore, there's time when we awed at ridiculously high marks that somebody else attained, and nosed ourselves into the crowd surrounding them just to take a glance at their papers. Even though it was clearly the result of their hard work, we just couldn't stop putting our blame on God for not making us exam-efficient. How pathetic are we?

Oh, and there's time when we made ourselves comfortable with F's until the teachers played the "reality bites" card. Then we started finding better study methods to fix our might-be broken future. In turn, we found out that life at present might have become better just because we gave it a shot.

Last but not least, there's time when we sought comfort in our friends and were amazed by the simple yet heart-throbbing gesture showed by them. A shoulder leaned, a hand intact or an ear lent could bright up the day and make tomorrow even more promising.

Say whatever you want, but the fact is, I'll miss this.
I'll savour the weeks yet to come.
Hey, promise me, let's nail this so-called 统考, k？

The Great One?

2008-10-05T04:39:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered why we exist?
I recalled reading some quote like this- "Before you start studying Science, you have to believe in God."
And yes, it's from some famous dude. (I didn't make this up this time.)

Here's the story.
Today some people came and proposed plans for solving global warming.
They looked like nice people, with appropriate attire, neat hairdo and intricate leaflets.
So I spare some time from my tight schedule to talk with them. (Yes, I'm a busy man xD)

Much to my surprise, apparently they are Christians.
If I were who I was back then, I would give them a hard time speaking to Mr.Hothead.
But to think that they came such a long way just to pass a notion, I kindly accepted their gesture.
After the talk about greenhouse effect, they just kept on spreading their love message.
By the way, I didn't know Christians deem the evil so evil.
I mean, when those people showed me a few lines delineated in the Bible, I was quite astounded.
There's an axiom which they hold dearly to...
"The Divine will eradicate any sinned beings from the surface of Earth and bring us peace."
Not exactly the identical copy, but that's what I understand from their briefing.

Okay, I don't want to be judgemental or what-so-ever.
However, to what I used to believe, don't Christians vowed to be loving and forgiving beings?
Given such a thought, it's not easy for me to realize that's how The Divine is going to establish eternal harmony.
Let alone the eradicating part, I'm myself isn't really a strong follower of the feeling of hatred, especially in black and white. (No offense)
I know mankind can be troublesome at times, but I think God created us for several purposes, e.g. to live and learn, to repent our sin, to contribute to the society etc.
We all make mistakes.
Yet, it's the aftermath that counts, whether you turn it into something valuable for a lifetime, or just leave it as a torn piece of your could-be-full-life.

I get the idea that people yearn for explicit serenity.
In other words, no need for them to ever walk to the next door and ask them to turn down the music 'cause it's ruining your beauty sleep, to go to the trouble for having to cultivating others just to avoid possible antisocial behaviour, or to attempt anything else ever again.
But tell me...
What makes us humans?
Well, this morning I was watching a show titled "Animal Did It First" on Animal Planet. (Channel 556 if you don't have any clue. I'm not a nerd, it's good tv, ok?)
Anyway, as I was saying, I actually learned our unique aptitude as Homo sapiens from that programme.
In a world that organisms compete for a living, yet we have developed something so special, it's rarely seen in the wild - kindness, a.k.a mercy.

Let's say, if a badly wounded cat suddenly appears in front of you, what will you do?
A. Kick its a*s since you've been scratched by one of those creepy fellows before
B. Cook the poor thing since you've never try cat meat and it looks so sorrowfully tempting
C. Take it to a vet nearby and waste a fortune on the filthy animal

Need not to say, it's like a basic instinct to choose C. (If you're answer differs from mine, please leave your name here as I'm not going to see you anymore.)
We care not only for ourselves, our family, our close friends, our community, but also strangers and other species, either they are mobile or motionless.
To tell me we have to kill to live...
You're better off telling me we should just die to let the bad guys live 'cause we don't seem like the hero if elimination is the absolute solution.

Back to where I was, I told the people I'm an atheist and I appreciated the effort.
I stood my ground clearly, saying that I still put my faith in mankind albeit those foolish acts some might have done to damage our environment.
They seemed cool with that and offered me a small book about Jesus.
I'll read it and try to get a grip of their concept.

P/S I have no intention to bring about religious contradiction. It's just something stirred up in my mind that I'd like to have it cleared. So if anyone have any opinions, whether it's positive or negative, please feel free to enlighten me. ^^

S.S

2008-10-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

*Before I start, I would like to explain my new abbreviation "S.S", it's actually So Sad. I know the word's too short to have COOL initials but it sounds so damn awesome. S.s s.S s.s.S.s.s.S.s.S.s.S.s.S..... -End

今天终于被欢送了。
感觉怪怪的，纵使知道这一天迟早都会降临...
当我领到邀请函时，其实有点炸到。
"不懈的萤火虫"，好像什么童话剧的主题。
而且地点又换到新讲堂，又听说没东西吃...
那时候心情真的是糟透了，再说，我可是欢送会前三天才被通知...
s.s (See, I'm using it now ^^)

不过，由于玲慧讲这会是最好的一次欢送会，再加上自己犯贱（嘴巴说不想去但打死都一定出席）
所以最后我还是出现了...= ="
刚开始我们被丢到新场看他们步操，好像不错却一直犯错（我是很挑的)。
然后又被筹委带来带去拖延时间...
连高层都入场了，我们都还在楼梯口等...
不过我还蛮佩服他们的，可以用这么有限的地方来布置，而且把我们43rd实习的照片都搜出来...
结果进新讲堂时，才觉悟到说，这真的是最后一次了...s.s

校长和李老师的话，老实说，几年下来都可以猜到下一句讲什么了...
"学长是学生的领袖..."、"训育处在此感谢这些..."、"希望往后的学长都可以向这些学长看齐..."
当玲慧上台时，她还是用这么高分贝的声音讲话。
看康乐组的表演，我其实心里真的回忆着这些年走来的点点滴滴...
刚刚分享无法说出口的，现在写下来吧。

说实在，学长团不单单是个学会。
我记得我对那些46th实习说过...
学长团像一个图书馆，而每个人都会从此借了一本书，一直到荣休才把书归还。
这本书有个特别之处，它可是永远写不完的，读到最后总会有几页是空白的，等着你去着墨。
每个人的故事都不一样，迭起曲折的也有，平步青云的也有，扑朔迷离的也有，甚至连半天挂笔的也有...
但无论如何，每个人都不断地，不停地，锲而不舍地撰写着。
就这样日复一日，年复一年，它就越来越厚了...
当往后的学长来借时，他们就能从中吸收更多，因此更丰富了学长团。
这就是传承。
这就是学长团。

走到这一刻，心情是复杂的。
我爱这个团，真的不是随口说说的。
未来的学长们，我很清楚这条路走起来有多累、难熬，可我心中仍希望你们能走下去。
当你们想放弃时、当你们想停下脚步时、当你们说出那句："做学长我很不开心!"时...
抬头看一看那些走完的人吧!
你懂他们也是曾有这样的想法吗?
然而，与你不同的是，他们眼看前方，你则回眸哀叹...s.s
请不要只是说句："那是他们的选择，我有我的选择了。"，纵然你非常清楚自己进团时即已做了抉择。
请不要只是说句："我的志向不在学长团，我一直被绑着!"，纵然你非常了解自己没尽最大的努力做出协调。
请不要只是说句："我要退团，在这里我不开心!"，纵然你非常肯定自己根本没想过什么会让自己开心。
相信我这一次吧!
走的下的!
真的走的下的!

学长学长学长，加油加油加油！

My Happy Ending

2008-09-30T17:52:00.000-07:00

Went to Low Yat yesterday and sang my guts out.
Well, it was our first time seperating the group into two rooms, 6 each.
Most of the "perky" girls were together in room 22, while the others in room 1.
In return, room 22 was bringing the roof down.
I mean, remember how Ling Huey sings using her superb, audio-like voice that hell knows where it came from?
Yea, add that to a bunch of S.H.E and F.I.R fans and you'll get a wild party.

On the other hand, my room was just barely hanging on.
We went for the sentimental route and picked songs that are hearty and sorrowful.
Not to mention skillful ( 过火、征服、a bunch of 宥嘉 and so).
Oh, and I also tried Beacuse You Love Me by Ms. Celine Dion, turned out it's a BIG song. ^^"
Yea, you can just imagine how it went with that list of songs.
However, I did have fun ~~abusing~~ challenging my vocal cords. xD
It's fun, but next time, I'm going to find someone that can be as HIGH as I am.
In case you didn't notice, it's no fun being the one who always craze for more songs like some sakai. = ="

The trip back to school was hilarious.
Okay, so we had some crime activities going on near our school, but to actually take a taxi while you're already standing outside Mutiara, whereby hostel students were walking back together...
It didn't make ANY sense to me.
By the way, I really despise the fact that nobody took me seriously on the bus.
I can be happy-go-lucky at times, but when I'm serious, I mean it.
I don't need any people telling me: "我们不要理他！" for some stupid reason, like 'cause I acted childishly in the restaurant or what-so-ever.
If you can't tell the difference between real life and having fun, I just pity you.
Oh, and to those who acted kinda like brain zombies that only obey orders, please don't.
Please have some self-dignity.

I was really pissed off. Nuff said.

Over

2008-09-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

Oh god, it finally ended.
The past few days I have been brimful over with agony, anxiety, ambiguity, vagueness and most of all, pain.
It's no ordinary school exam that I usually says:"I'll do my best. If things don't go right, then maybe next time" if indeed, I did screw up.
Oh no, it's my UEC trial, and you don't play with trial as there are no turning backs.
Why? Coz if you don't take things seriously, the outcome is often followed by disappointment, desperation and sorrow, all mingled together to spoil your day.
Who would like to pull their faces when the teachers hand down the papers?
Especially to those missy who likes to tease at your failure, and ask you to be her study buddy?

Worst day ever got to be this.
Here's what happened during my Math(II) paper.
I thought I was prepared, not to full mark standard (as it'll never be), but good enough to pass it.
It was day 3.
I had been having a hard time on the previous day with Physics and I swore to myself I got to pull myself together, as if getting harsh jokes from one teacher isn't enough to bear with.
Hence, I went back home, did my exercise and headed for school the next day early in the morning, with my pencil and calculator ready for action.
I sat down, embraced myself for the challenge yet to come.

Moments later, the papers were on my desk.
The objective questions stunted me, well lightly, as it was kind of expected from Mr. Lau and I did did my ex, so I just attempted the ones I knew, and left the rest for God to decide, or me throwing the dice.
Next thing you knew, the hour has passed.
I counted how many questions I was sure, and it turned out to be 4 or 5.
Ok, not good.
"1 counts for 2, and 15 X's equals 30 marks lost, I gotta make it up with paper 2."

Trying to hold my nerves down, I flipped the pages of paper 2.
"Don't look at A.G first, try to find something you're familiar with. How bout Trigo, the triangle seems easy, plus proving is always better than evaluating."
Or so I thought?

Without any hesitation, I marked down "1." on my paper.
I drew the triangle carefully, labelling each angle and side, along with their ratio.
Everything seemed to be in control, until I jotted down my steps.
Well, my calculation seemed way too long for the question worth only 2%. (When I say long, I'm implying that it's a full page length, hardly any space.)
"Better not waste my time here, let's try another one. Here, Q2 looks fine. Min and max? I've done it before, should be a piece of cake."
In fact, it wasn't any where close to "cake" standard.
I tried various methods, e.g. differentiating, sum of angles, inequality etc. (Sounds smart, eh? ^^)
Each gave distinct solutions. (WTH... ><")
"Don't panic. Everything's cool."
But my legs were trembling perpetually and my tummy's agitating like there's no tomorrow. (Seriously...= =")
Murmuring at the papers in vain, I kept on writing, making my best effort to at least pass this.
Nonetheless I finished it in a ragged manner, with incomplete equations all over the place.
After the exam, the only thing that crossed my mind was "fail", with a capital F.
And when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, Mechanics left me with abundant blanks, supposedly to be filled.

In short, the trial didn't appeal to me, at all.
Even the language papers are taking a dent on my crushed spirit (Malay?).
Guess I'll be leaving school with the lowest average for the past six years, which by the way, disheartens me dreadfully. T T

I'm sad, even if you don't believe me.

P/S Don't you think Trebuchet is such a classical font? (Say No and you're dead meat!) I'm sticking to it from now on.

Disney

2008-09-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

"I'm 18 and I still watch Disney cartoons."

Finally got that out of my mind.
Believe it or not, I watch Kim Possible.
Whenever the girl kicks Dr. Draken 's butt while dealing with her clumsy sidekick, Ron, it still cracks me up.
Totally Spies does that too, and no, it isn't girls-only.

Oh, I also enjoy watching Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That's So Raven (the series ended a couple years ago though T T, the others still running) and so.
I know it sounds childish, but trust me, you'll feel younger.
Even though you know we couldn't be a world famous pop princess and a normal teenage girl at the same time, it's fun to see what if it really happens, e.g having to juggle daily activities one by one to fit in a tight schedule, which I find it amusing since me and time don't really go along.
Moreover, there's the family of wizards that the kids, well, constantly break the rules to ease things. No matter how bad they mess up, there's always daddy and mommy to the rescue, and you would bet the sentence of the day would be "You're grounded!".
Zack and Cody are twins and twins means double the fun. However, I tend to look forward to seeing Maddie and London. Certainly not because they're hot or anything, but the interesting pairing, one being smart while the other stupid. And living in a hotel is always cool, especially when you can just take the lift down whenever your tummy's grumbling.
I always save the best for the last- That's So Raven. Now that's a show you wouldn't want to miss, or missed out. I mean, it spanned for like four or five years, making millions rolling on the floor. As usual, I favor the supporting role more, and yes, she's also dumb. Chelsea and Raven made a great combination. Love 'em!

Enough for the series, Disney is also renown for its blockbuster tv-movies.
There's High School Musical, the film that got me thinking whether I would stay put or run all out to follow my dreams during my high school years. Before this, I wasn't really much of an outgoing person (but that doesn't make me an attention-seeker now = ="). Inspired by this, I tried to pursue what I had in mind, though most of it didn't go well, at least I gave it a shot, right?
Then suddenly there's a musical craze all around the world, and the next year they telecast High School Musical 2, mostly focusing on teen love and future. Again, it got me wondered about relationships, mainly mine. Don't get the wrong idea, I still suck at this.
Lately they presented a brand new, finally out of school bound film- Camp Rock. The songs weren't that catchy, but I get to be in touch with my adolescent, since I've been spending way too much time on Starworld recently. (Well, you know, those shows, where sex comes before love and money before moral, you get the idea.)

So, I'm glad there's Disney.
I grew up watching siblings sabotaging each other's master plan, teenagers dating time and again until they find the right one, children being grounded for various complicated parental reasons and best of all, everybody putting in their utmost effort to realize their aspirations.
What's more to say?
Rock on! xD

Sleepless

2008-09-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

Well, my last update was considerably 9 hours ago.
Why am I here again?
Oh God, I dare not close my eyes. T T
These days, whenever I try to enter dream ville, there bound to be obstacles lying ahead.
So here's the epic battle between sound-inside-my-head and me, desperate for a good night sleep.

"Bio test is coming soon, aren't you going to study?"
-I'm getting to it.

"If you flunk your bio test, how are you going to ace your trial?"
-I won't fail both.

"Do you even know how many days left before the trial, or the real UEC? Bet you don't!"
-Trial? 14 days max. UEC? 47 days or so. And can we switch the topic? Experts don't recommend lame speeches before sleeping. (Not only the experts, it's everyone)

"No exams? Okay, let's talk about your future. You already know what you're going to do for a living?"
-Well, I thought you knew. UN, duh? There's always plan B, though- Stardom!

"I knew it, you never ever give it a serious thought. So what do you expect me to do,be your blue fairy? Oh dear, do you prefer a luxurious, spacious, king-sized pumpkin chariot or just a casual yet trendy cucumber one? You know darling, orange is the new black."
-I'd like the green counterpart. Cinderella had a pumpkin chariot, and I wouldn't want to end up with a cat fight with her. Plus cucumber is rarely seen, so it suits my I-want-to-be-one-of-a-kind trait. Oh, can you make that a limo, since nobody rides on a chariot anymore.

"Nah ah~ Not this time, mister. Look at you. You have less than 2 months left till the real deal, and you're here asking for my help? Who do you think I am? I'm your conscious. Remember Jimmy the cricket from Pinocchio? I'm definitely not him, waiting for you to screw up and then fixing it. Stop dreaming!"
-Technically, I didn't even get the chance to dream. From what I recall, Jimmy always pops up and nags like you do but I don't remember him messing around with Pinocchio's slumber. So yea, you are not him, period!

"So now you're blaming me. (Tears start rolling down)"
-Yes, I am. Without sufficient sleeping, one can suffer from short-term memory, tiredness, lack of interpreting ability, numb arms and feet, anxiety, stress and the list doesn't end there. Hence, I cannot follow the rapid footsteps of the metropolis lifestyle if I don't sleep well. Oh, did I mention about my skin? It'll get dry and acne will surface if I don't get my beauty sleep. I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings, but... (Haven't finished)

"You'd better be! I just want your life to be easier. "
-Sure, you do. BUT HOW THE HELL I'M GOING TO ENJOY MY LIFE IF ALL I CAN DO EVERYDAY, FROM DAY TO NIGHT, FROM THE SECOND I WAKE UP TO THE SECOND I FALL ASLEEP IS LOOKING FORWARD TO BEDTIME? So if you don't mind, I would like to see you gone when I'm back from the washroom.

"(Storm away angrily)"
-Good riddens!

Looks like I won?
Well, let's see, I dreamt about me scoring straight C's for my UEC, never having a chance to enter university, ended up being a taxi driver, blabbering about the soaring petrol price, complaining the low paycheck to my boss, got fired, fed up with life, writing a will that barely has anything precious on it, committing suicide, giving away my internal organs, being an unhappy ghost, haunting rich and smart people out of jealousy...
If I ever see that sound-inside-my-head again, I'm going to make him pay!
CAN'T A GUY JUST ASK FOR A MOMENT OF ABSOLUTE SILENCE WHEN HE SLEEPS?

Time

2008-09-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

"So you think you have time? Or maybe you know time?

If it wasn't for death, we wouldn't have acknowledge the presence of time.
From the moment we were born, time has casted an aging spell on us.
Toddlers would gradually grow into naive, innocent children; blossom into proud, arrogant teenagers, which then march into adulthood in search of their destiny, and finally in their golden years, finding themselves recollecting scattered pieces of memory.
We known it as the circle of life.

However, scientistes thought they had revealed the truth about time.
According to them, time is merely a physical quantity, existed long since the birth of universe as we know it.
It was bestowed with units and included in many scientific equation.
The unexplained was explained, or should I say, described?

Thrilled by the research, men wanted to enslave time.
"Why don't we turn back time?" one of them said.
Soon, they began building machines that would alter the time-space continuum.
Even though they were against the odds, nothing would deter them.

If...
If we were to turn back time, men would uncover the mystery that clouded us from the truth of history.
If we were to turn back time, men would rather modify history than to just observe it.
If we were to turn back time, men would not have to learn history, since there's nothing about the past that we couldn't rearrange.
If we were to turn back time, there wouldn't be time.

Little did they know, they had already lost the battle.
Eventually, they were scarred with wrinkles and left rotten, just like us.

Time limits our life.
If you think there's always going to be a second chance, think again!
So treasure every second.
You'll never know when time would run out on you."
Got the whole thing from a forum reply post.

I'd better go back to my books now.
Don't wanna be a cranky old man sitting on a swinging chair with bottles of beer, being resentful for not getting good results for my UEC, which would lead me to an undelightful life- no wife, no kids, no job, no money, no house, no car, no food, no karaoke, no fun, no television, no computer, no blog, no swimming pool, no lawn mower, no chair, no bed, no radio, no no and even no sex ......

Reminiscence

2008-08-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

Had a stroll down memory lane.
Those times when I was hanging out in the mamak stall near school with a bunch of prefects, just to sneak away from schoolwork.
We would unload our bags along with heaps of books, which in fitness means, the weight itself could build tremendous upper body strength, and place an order with the kak who had been there since well, Christ's time, maybe?
Then, we would head for Popular to buy correction tapes (though many of us prefer its liquid counterpart) or the barbers' to get an "as-usual" haircut (as in no sideburns, neat hair lines and so), for we needn't to repeat ourselves over and over.

Most of the time, we would have Maggi Goreng, while the penniless would ordered Roti Canai (cheap and stuffy, definitely the better choice for the economic class ^^).
Maggi Goreng is and will always be my cup of tea (just an expression, not literally).
Tangled noodle stir-fried with chillies, veggie, prawns and some other spices which is skillfully prepared by our friendly Indian cook that will certainly tingle anybody's tastebuds.
I'm exaggerating things?
Try it for yourself and then blame me for not enlightening you earlier!

So, after a stressful day, we would spill our guts, whether it was concerning our classmates, academic results, society works and etc.
Heck, we even laughed off the daily Oops-I-did-it-again mistakes we'd done.
Never had we been so relaxed until we spoke out our minds.
It felt great.
And each day I would be keeping an eye on the clock until the bell rang in the last period.

When the hour hand stroke six, it would be time to return home.
Although each time I'd be so exhausted from the train of activities, I actually felt happy.
It's like an inner passion that awakens my stiff soul as to bear with the dull and monotonous learning journey of a student.

Yet, ever since I've switched my tie, I never once go out with them.
I could hear myself banging my head on the wall just to mute the voice within struggling to break out.

Now, hear me.
I miss the meaningless jokes.
I miss the hysterical laughter.
I miss the sarcastic mocking.
I miss the shared secrets.
I miss the naive gestures.
I miss the unbalanced table.
I miss the piles of 团簿.
I miss the Aladdin look-alike cashier .
I miss kak and bang.
All and all, I miss you guys.

One World One Dream?

2008-08-28T03:20:00.000-07:00

The holidays were over, followed by the 29th Beijing Olympics.
Make no mistakes, but I did enjoy the series of events.
While the world has given more than ample credit to the host nation, I still have to admit I was totally stunted by their detailed approach to the games, especially the opening and closing ceremonies.

Nonetheless, watching the games really inspires me, in a way that peoples around the globe can put away their differences and compete fairly.
Well, lets put aside Michael Phelps and his eye-blinding gold medals along with Usain Bolt and his record-breaking sprints.
Personally, I was amazed by some athletes that rushed all out for the medals in every events they've taken part.

Surely everyone would remember the jaw-dropping performances by the American swimmers who dominated the pool.
However, I'm positive that two Chinese girls with fair skin caught every one's eyes during the 200m Butterfly event, not with their gorgeous faces though, but their breathtaking attempt to grab the medals in an event most people had already pick the winner.
In the end, they've stood on the first and second position on the podium, leaving the favourite third.
When the national anthem of China was played in 水立方, they shed tears, knowing that everybody stands equal in front of the Olympics, nobody is superior to another.
Oh, remember those Caribbean boxers who triumphed over the Europeans to take home the gold medal?
Not to mention the tough Korean women handball team that defeated their opponent in fashion to get their hands on the bronze medals.
By the way, there was the Japanese men relay team who beat stronger teams with sheer adrenalin and finally laid their fingers on the bronze medals.
These people have displayed the true meaning of fair competition- "Never Give Up".

All and all, the games really gave us hope in building a united nation where everybody has the chance to speak out their mind.
You can dream and see that dream becomes reality.
You can dare and prove yourself to be a worthy competitor.
You can reach out for the world and the world reaches in for you.
That's Olympic, where everybody is somebody.

Soon, I thought...
In the 21st century, people value internationalism undoubtedly.
As the geographical distance setting countries apart is shorten by the wide usage of Internet, mobile phone and other communication means, we can obtain any information from the tip of our finger.
Life is made easy, but in the same way, as we're reaching closer to the peak of civil development, the ascent gets steeper and we have to work our tails off to grasp greater success.
In other words, it isn't going to be either a piece of cake or a bed of roses.
Thus, with more brilliant minds are put into work, we'll stand a better chance in moving humanity forward into a brand new era.
So, that's pretty much why everybody takes great interest in one's perspectives towards the world and it's people.

Sounds convincing, right?
Finally, a world worth living in!
Then again, with never-ending war going on in the Middle East where Earth resources are found plentiful, large-scaled economic crisis shocking the stock market from time to time and rapidly increasing population of developing countries challenging food supply, when will the concept "One World One Dream” be embedded in our mind?
Or all these sharing ideas between the developed and developing countries are just craps that day by day giving us false hope?

Nah, I'm just gray. (Might be exam-mania, a state when the brain reacts weirdly and goes lolo)
Cheers! xD

The Happening 2

2008-08-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

So where was I?
Oh, right...

I managed to endure those, as usual ^^
I was pissed off by one of the teachers, but the poor women had already a line of people waiting to flame her, so I guess I'll cut her some slack. (I worked hard for my painting, okay?)
Anyway, it felt like waking up from some fairy-tale dream and opening my eyes to realize how life was before I met with the Blue Fairy.

Bon Odori, the annual Japanese culture learning activity that bonds everybody together.
Nah, it's just a sweet escape from the hectic, dull life of a student.
I've been going there for 4 years in a row.
Boring?
Sure, but it's always better than to lock yourself at home counting how many turns your ceiling fan rotates or observing the crawling pattern of ants.

There's a catch though.
I got to drive there.
So, I did some homework on the road maps and the traffic conditions in Shah Alam.
In the end, I had to follow Sam's car to there, which by the way, it's a long, long journey.

As I mentioned earlier, Bon Odori is all about Japanese culture, their food, clothing, decoration, dance moves and so.
Oh, did I forget to mention they brought in their FLASHY PRICE TAG too?
RM 7.00 for 5 SPOONS of rice with 2 SLICES of unagi?
All and all, we had a great time there, trying to spend as less as we could.
The traditional dance moves were enjoyable too, at least it's easy to pick up.

We left at 9.00 pm.
After dropping David and Ivan, we had a drink at Uma Rani.
It was warming.

*I'll never forget what happened that day. Do believe in me. -13/7*

Monday was stressful.
That previous Saturday was spectacular, but having to attend an interview two days after wasn't something I would consider F-U-N. T T
Remember the Monkagabusho scholarship I've written about two months ago？
Well, they called on an interview.
Surprised, I was completely uncertain with the documents I needed.

Yet again, I pulled it off. xD
Man, the Japanese Embassy was as squeaky clean as my home. ^^"
I got the chance to talk to some students who wished to go.
Some of them have already pursuing their under-graduate studies, while some have just being accepted by universities like NTU and NUS (argh, bless those fellows)
I was considered young, according to them. (Woo-hoo! )

Okay, bout the interview.
Before that, I have to explain some of the details.
So for this scholarship I've chosen Agriculture as my first choice of majoring field, Fisheries as second and Agricultural Chemistry as third.
Q: Why the weird choice?
A: Why not?
And I stated at my application there I want to work at UN.

So here's some the interesting parts from my interview, whereby I: Interviewer and L: me.

I: Briefly describe yourself.

L: I'm Lim Liang Chun, 18, studying in Chong Hwa Independent High School. Erm...I like to read (magazines, comics, sometimes pages from HUGE books) , swim (once per year) and joining charity work （I guess I did involve myself sometimes).

-Definitely lame answer there. = ="

I: Why do you want to study in Japan?

L: I admire the attitude of Japanese which often strive for the best. I think studying there will help me gain a lot of experiences and widen my horizon.

-Those kind of formal answers that you can't go wrong with.

I: What are the parts of Japan that interest you?

L: I think Japan is an exotic place, blending both modern and ancient culture together. In my last visit to Japan, I went to Osaka and Tokyo, and I was amazed by how the Japanese built their skyscrapers. But then, you still find old-fashioned buildings around Nagata there, and they've done a great job managing them. Japaneses really appreciate their custom.

-Truth is, Japan looks cool. But that was cool too, not icy-cool though, just misty-cool.

I: In your application form, you've written Agriculture as your first choice and Fisheries as your second. That's really special since I thought Chinese mostly want to study calculative subjects such as Accountancy, Business and so. Why?

L: Well, it was merely a childhood dream. I was brought up in Kedah.

(Sudden interruption...)

I: Oh, the rice bowl of Malaysia! (Great work on stealing my vocab there!)

L: Yea (Still smiling politely), and since I was a kid, I've been growing up seeing rice fields everywhere. And I want to do what I can to make good use of the agricultural work there. On the other hand, I think Malaysia has the potential of becoming a main rice exporting country. I wish to help when that time comes. As for the fisheries, I would also try to improve the country's fishing industry if agriculture doesn't work so well.

I: Okay...

-I was telling the truth (At least part of it was...)! Don't you "Okay..." me!

I: Why do you want to study Agriculture in Japan?

L: I think the Agriculture work in Japan is fantastic.

(Again, sudden interruption...)

I: Actually, it isn't.

L: (What!? You come telling me this now) I think Japan is a strong country where it's people have great determination. Although they have lands no smaller than Malaysia by a large scale, they fully utilize it and produce as much as they can. They even invented ways to grow crops using water and now even air. I think the creative way of thinking makes me want to learn together with these minds.

-Great, big screw up there.

I: So what are you planning to do when you come back.

L: Maybe I could work in a field just to gain some experiences. Later on, I can try working at agricultural development centres around the country. Ultimately, I would like to work at the United Nation to join in the fight against world hunger.

-Yea, I just became a saint. But I do want to help.

I: In this term, we want scholars who studied in Japan become sort of a bridge between the countries. What will you do to encourage the cultural exchange between the two countries, especially Japanese culture in Malaysia.

L: Oh, I went to Bon Odori last Saturday (See mom, I told you it's useful ), and I think that if we start from sharing the culture among the youth, it will be more efficient. Maybe we can try having some Malaysian traditional festivals like such of Bon Odori in Japan. We could also introduce of Japanese way of living and thinking here (Oh yea, and the BIG NUMBERS on the tags too, please).

-No idea there would be question like this.

The interview ended with me grinning embarrassed. Did I get it? I wonder.

Weeks later were just packed with exams. Ace some fail some.

Well, Christal, Julianna, Yi Jie and I did gather when we're celebrating the girls' birthday. Watched The Dark Knight, not the best film for the occasion though. I was dizzy when I exit the cinema. We went to The Curve later on and had our photos taken by some smoking guy who blurred the images with his "breathtaking" white fumes. Who the hell would smoke when taking pictures?

And life still goes on...(Big surprise, huh?)

Off Topic

2008-08-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

6S忠, which differs much from my past classes, really have me thinking. "What's wrong?" you've asked? Heck, even the ignorant can tell there's something lurking around. I mean, conversation between most of us was so intended, it's as though we have nothing to speak in mind.

Is this what we crave for?
So, here's what on my mind.

"If a couple of test would beat the hell out of you, then you might as well pack your stuff and crawl back into your tiny pothole, never to be seen again. Stress isn't something you can blame on so that everybody else becomes the villain. All of us, we have our dreams waiting to be fulfilled. And no, studying hard doesn't make someone obnoxious. So, if you can't take it, don't let it out on others. This should sound familiar. "Life itself isn't bed of roses." quoted by Mr. Daljit Singh. Take on the challenge, make it yours. Nothing is unbearable, and to make it clear, anything is possible. You have your own ways of accomplishing what you've yearned for, and there're people who have theirs. We're a class, understanding, respecting and embracing the differences are the least you can do for us."

Nuff' said.

P/S I'm sure the never-ending exam period has taken a toll on each of us, but keep on striving, won't you?

The Happening

2008-07-31T03:05:00.000-07:00

"Last Updated 5 weeks"
Wow, there goes my "1 week 1 post" plan.
So, what's been going on lately?
Let's see...

After my utterly cool birthday, everything just seemed to be normal.
I was looking forward to my cosmic trip to Hong Kong-Beijing-Xian.
I took off on 27/6 and landed at HK about 4 hours later.
Went straight ahead to The Hong Kong Polytechnic University to unpacked our luggage.
First impression?
The word "hostel" should drop the letter "s"...
I've never seen a hostel lobby that has security tighter than most condominium, heck it even beat the crap out of some star hotels (Good luck guys!).

We had six Malaysians joining the group, two from Penang while the other two from Johor. (I was told they intended to pick students from every corners of this land, glad I'm in KL ^^")
Anyway, I shared the room with P'ng Ren Yu, currently studying in Chong Ling High School.
He's in the Robotic society (unique), 16 year-old (young) and travel to a lot of countries along with his robotic team ( while not spending a single penny).
Now, that's cool.

The main reason why we had to drop by HK was to attend an intensive course concerning astronomical science. Frankly, when I was chosen to take part in this, I wasn't so sure why, but who wouldn't yearn for a free getaway from schoolwork? (Which later on having myself paying a hard price for being absent for 10 whole days T T)

The course did help me to understand the knowledge I had to painstakingly ingest not knowing what's what. To name a few, I can now answer these following question quite accurately,

"How does satellite work?"
-Easy. A rocket carrying a satellite is fired into the atmosphere and lastly into space. Then the satellite is place on it's desired orbit where it'll start benefiting mankind. It serves many purposes, for instance weather report, military uses, detecting resources, but all and all, being used as a spying gadget (GPRS is what we called it).

"Why do men explore space?
-In search of alternative fuels, to scout for new living environment yet most of all, to conquer some "wasted" land (Imperialism anyone?)

"How much do these activities cost?
-Trust me, it's HUGE.

I also learned some information regarding the development of China, and if it wasn't for this, I wouldn't even guess that China has to suffer greatly to reach this stage of civilisation. I suppose that explains why Chinese are renowned not only for their SUPERB wisdom and for their TOUGH endurance too (Proud to be yellow-skinned AND not being a racist xD).

After getting my brain ready for the following 7 days of scientific activities, it's time to head over to mainland China.
Beijing, the capital of China and home to 18 million citizens, has seriously being made over.
Beijing Capital International Airport (PEK) was grand, majestic as well as stunningly elegant.
The transparent canopy allows light to shine through, thereby cutting down the electricity cost.
The blending of both red and silver painting strongly defined the nation's culture.
Overall, it's royal yet welcoming.

Upon checking in, we had a couple of hours to rest before departing for our next destination- Tiananmen Square to witness the flag raising ceremony.
This time I was stuck with another Chong Ling student, named Kok Jia De.
Why stuck? Well, this guy is insane when it comes to China.
He despise Malaysia, he hardly admit he's a Malaysian (the only times he would do so was at the airport) and he went on badmouthing Malaysia around foreign students.
To tell you the truth, I actually had fun staying with him. ^^
Forcing him to be more patriotic (which in the end, he's willing to teach others Bahasa Malaysia), keeping him safe as promised (he's 15, fueled with sheer adrenalin, get the picture?) and sometimes, I repeat, sometimes joining in the party (if you know what I mean).

By the way, we were arranged into ten groups, each of those consisting of students coming from different countries, such as Macao, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore and the locals before taking off.
Well, my group was nothing but fun.
Their names are out of the world too, Fani, Ellery, Kenef and so.
We had to stick together all the time during the whole research trip.

So back to the topic...
We woke up at bout 3.30 am and rushed to Tiananmen Square.
As usual, I was late (at least I wasn't the last). = ="
Since it's summer, the sun rises earlier than it normally does.
I always thought it's just one or two hours sooner, right about 7 or 6, or maybe 5...
But reality proves me dead wrong.
The army came marching in at 4.47 am.
Batches of people were waiting patiently outside the area, anticipating the ceremony.
It was sort of touching watching them singing their national anthem with such pride.
Then, we went back to the hotel to have a typical Oriental breakfast (a table full with overcooked grains and flavourless veggie, emm-hmm~).

Next place of interest?

The infamous Great Wall of China, technically we just visited one of its gate- "居庸关.
Anyhow, it's an inspiring view indeed.
Come to think of it, how did they do this?
I mean, no up-to-date machinery, no fancy devices, no proper engineering skills (I maybe wrong about this)...
Seriously, HOW DID THEY DO THIS?
So, future archaeologist, please do me, and the world a favour. ^^"
We took a look at their National Astronomical Observatories in the evening.
Too many technical facts that rarely anyone would show interest, but it was fully equipped with bunch of high-tech appliances, that's for sure.
My first day in Beijing ended there (Wow, that's long = =").

The following day was rather rich in cultural activities too.
We went to The Imperial Palace, a.k.a 故宫 or 紫禁宫.
Beautiful place packed with a strong sense of Chinese protocol.
Ornaments are made out of expensive metal (Gold anyone?).
Just imagine how did the emperor live...
Bathing in water channeled from high above mountains...
Accompanied by thousands and thousands of concubines...
Living the life any Hollywood star long for...
Man, we Chinese do know how to live a life. xD

Next we went to The Great Hall of the People.
The sound of this place is heavenly enough.
Fact is, it was completed not more than 10 months. Tough, eh?
Oh, the country's
"Member of the Political Bureau of the CPC Central Committee" and
"Vice chairwoman of the Tenth CPPCC National Committee" and
"Member of its Leading Party Members' Group" and, not yet
"Head of the United Front Work Department of the CPC Central Committee"
Ms. Liu Yan Dong spoke to us there (I was on CCTV too ^^).

Ever heard of Beijing Olympic?
I bet you do! (Lame, huh?)
Well, I was lucky enough to take some picture in front of 鸟巢 and 水立方, and yes, I hate their English translation.
One word, "Magnific."

Had dumplings for dinner.

Third day in the city, I was getting tired of it already. ^^"
A trip to The National Military Museum (Boring) and we're on our way to Xian!

Due to insufficient funds, we had to take the train (Not complaining, but...)
Honestly, it wasn't any cheaper.
12 hours on the train, playing cards and chatting.
Hmm, not so bad.
It brought the group closer.
香港非闲人之去处, 澳门非有志者之天堂, 马来西亚则人灾连连...
值得深思啊!

We reached the place at 7.
As of our tight schedule, we had to take away our breakfast (which consisted of a tiny piece of cake, a thin slice of ham and an egg, worst meal I had there = =").
We went straightforward to 中国一航西安飞机工业（集团）有限公司 (an aeroplane manufacturing company).
It was nice knowing that we can accomplish such great deal without any aid (In your face US!).

The Terracotta Army Museum, that's where we went after visiting the factory.
I was struck all of a heap viewing this.
The detailed features on every piece were overwhelming, you could even see the facial hair structure far away.
But to learn that every one of these were to be sculpted by craftsmen who were killed afterwards as to keep the tomb a forever sealed secret, that's just plain cruel...
That certainly sounds like something Emperor Qin would do.

Finally, the last day of our research trip.
We spent our day learning how to build and fly a rocket.
Watching our 七-1号 and 七-2号 soared through the sky was an outer body experience.
We had a competition and guess what?
We won! (Not much of a surprise, right?)
Our rockets flew the longest! Woo-hoo! xD
At night, we set out for 第四军医大学.
I had the opportunity to look at jars of anatomized body parts.
I'm so sure I'll never be a doctor. Phew...

Okay, time to return home.
It was a hard time separating with those fellows.
I mean, they're loaded with jokes that are nothing you've heard of.
Heck, we even played Truth or Dare.
Fani who taught me some 潮语, stuff like 烂gag, o嘴...(Be an ethical nurse, will you?)
Thomson who loves his cake and dessert (This time get a 30 instead of 27, okay?).
澳门哥哥 and 杭州姐姐 who makes sure everything go fine (old but fun, both of you are great).
Jeremy along with Zhi Yong who are ambitious just like what I would expect from Singaporeans (I'll visit soon).
Kenef who is crazy about photo shooting back in the museum (Nice shots, I love taking picture with you).
Jason who hates to lose to Rachel (Sorry, dude. You just gotta take it easy with 七级猪 ^^")
Rachel who is strong yet vulnerable to people (Good Luck with everything there!).
You guys really made it hard for me to leave.
Thanks for the wonderful moments!
I'll remember to come over in less than 20 years time. ^^

There ends my journey.
So, back to reality.
Firstly, it sucked to take an exam after having landed at 9.00 pm the night before, being informed when I was enjoying myself on the trip and 7.00 am in the morning.
Then there came piles of homework, which I had a tough time finishing it.
All and all, things didn't went well the first 3 days...

(To Be Continued...)

Birthday Bash

2008-06-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

Finally 18.
Went to Station 1 Cafe, Kepong to celebrate with the 47th Ex-Com.
Basically, nothing changed much.

I was told it started at 7, but then I was the one arrived the earliest, which was 7.20.
As "punctual" as usual.
We switched a couple of restaurants.
From Hong Kong style to Western delights then the simple cafe.
Well, we had our dinner at 8.30.
Famished, I couldn't even move my lips. [= =]"

After the meal, it was just a comforting chat bout our recent doings.
Again, nothing changed much.
Kok Ann, talkative as always.
Liang Yin, self indulgent as always.
Shook Shin, thrifty as always.
Nok Ling, eager as always.
Yi Jie, clueless as always.
Yuan Shiaun, cool as always.

Unfortunately, the others couldn't make it.
Nonetheless, thanks for the dinner. ^^

Had a farewell party for Xiao Shan last night. It didn't look like it though, it's more a gathering. Then again, how often can we be sitting together?
The steamboat was a mess.
I suppose none of us learn from experiences. xD Anyhow, I guess nobody went home empty handed.

Shan, I couldn't stay till Saturday for your farewell speech.
So, good luck with everything there.

And thanks for the cake.

一切尽在不言中
This certainly explains a lot of things.

#17

2008-06-16T05:43:00.000-07:00

Lately SY posted a song on the blog.
Drew lots of attention, everyone discussing about 暗恋.
It's kinda interesting though.
We often brag about how 暗恋 stinks and yet we still do so.
All and all, we're 犯贱的动物. xD

Yea, we still do so...

A Twist of Mood

2008-06-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

Received RM 100
+
Had Cheese-baked Chicken Rice
+
Watched The Simpson and My Wife and Kid
=
Happy Me xD

Awful

2008-06-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

Lost the inter class singing competition.
Girls did work their tail off, but guys...
I'm sorry, but I think we're the ones that fail them this time.
Staying back to practice was fun, except Monday.
Nevertheless, we tried it and we had our moment.
So no regrets! ^^"

On the other hand, the celebration for Teacher's Day went terribly wrong.
I don't know bout what others think of it now.
All I could see was just a failure act.

Our class was in charge of the games and notice board.
The latter was fully covered by Bear, Kai Chee and others from 6S2.
They did a great job.
Bravo!

Talking bout games...
Our class did come up with some interesting activities that I myself once considered good enough to top the BEST Teacher's Day activity.
Monopoly, IQ treasure hunt, dances, all and all....

But bad news came in Monday.
We had to cut our game duration from 1.5 hour to just merely 1 hour.
In other words, something had to be canceled.
Personally, I thought it was heartbreaking.
Yet some took the news happily.
"Yeah, less work!" they said. [= =]

Thus two options were suggested.
Plan A - Change some settings and continue
Plan B - Stop

Luckily, majority of them picked A.
Time was running short but there were many things left undone.
Still, we managed to put our brains into extensive use.
We sorted some details and embraced ourselves for the day's work.
Finally, it's showtime.

After all the preparation was finished, we practiced our dance moves.
Soon the students arrived, looked at us for a while and then left.
70 people or so stayed and took home the prizes.
Unfortunately, there's just 20 teachers or so joined in the party.
Still, the show must go on.
It was tiring.

The next programme was the lunch party at Kong Chen Hall.
All senior 3 students were to be attended.
As usual, our class slacked and got our butts moving 20 minutes after the show started.
Moreover, our reaction was lousy.
Mama always tell me, "No matter how bad you thought the performance was, you should always clap. It's manners."
To worsen things, this is a free-entrance show.
With people frequently asking, "Can I leave now?", how could anyone be happy?

In the end, there's just 20 of us left singing the theme song.
While other classes were joyfully taking their class photos, we were sitting quietly, hoping that nobody noticed us.
It felt like betrayal.

Thoughts?
Honestly, I appreciated what everyone did to make these work.
I'm sorry if I ever make things difficult for you, but that's how things are, we're pursuing the best there is.
Lastly, you guys are wonderful fellows, but...
Even though most teachers didn't even bother to see our games, but I don't think that's how we tell them "YOU're wrong and YOU owe us an apology."
Also, it's never appropriate to leave a show half way through.
I understand I'm not in the position to voice these, but I sincerely hope this awful experience is history.

P/S 我爱我们的班

Holidays

2008-06-08T04:35:00.000-07:00

24/5
Went to the gathering organised by those Form 3 prefects.
Erm, I guess they did nice for beginners.
Felt sort of like one big family, everybody doing their own stuff...
One big problem: Food Wastage
Guess they'll just have to get the details right next time.

24/5-28/5
Headed for Tioman.
Technically, it's Kluang-Mersing-Tioman...
I'll spare the boring travelling part [= =]"
We had help at Mersing there getting on the boat- Bluewater.
Erm, I guess after the incident, the government really did a great job on those means.
Still, the movie they shown was terrible...

So, we landed on the island two hours later.
Beautiful beach, as expected.
Nothing spectacular particularly, just the picturesque view that charms one's heart time after time...
Did some snorkeling and scrolling.
Corals aren't all pretty!

Dropped by Mersing for lunch during the trip back.
No doubt restaurant that last for a century can surely provide awesome dishes.
Still miss the Sweet and Sour Steam Fish.
Mmmm~

29/5-31/5
YCA camp at Penang
The theme was -打造活力青少年-
Reached there bout twelve in the midnight, had a horrible sleep beside Wei Jian and also lousy fried mee for breakfast...
I was 事务处副营长, which meant I act as the coordinator for 总务部 and 膳食部.
Felt so surprised and stressed (Honestly, I was hoping for post like 活动部高督 and such...)
Since I couldn't do anything bout it, I might as well try my best. ><

总务部 was definitely nerve-breaking while 膳食部 wasn't any better too.
But, I guess in the end, we did have fun finding ways to improve.
That's the magic of this camp.
You shout you lung out, tear your heart apart, stomp your feet crazily...
Yet, everything will just go fine and everyone hugs.

This time I couldn't stay until the you-cry-I-cry moment.
I had to head back to K.L for the Japanese Montakagabusho Scholarship Examination.

1/6
As mentioned, I had the exam held at Confusius Independent High School.
Magnificient hall in a tiny schoolground.
Interesting.

The standard's high.
Nuff said.

2/6
Time to do some painting.
As consultants for the board, we certainly worked our tails off.
Marine Blue vs Sakura Red
Thus, what do we get when you apply two soft colours in a bathroom-sized room?
A babysitting paradise!
Boys on the blue side while girls on the other.

Although we had an awful time getting the paint ready, we had plenty of fun.
Moreover, our shirts were covered with chemical substances originating from sweat, paint, thinner and other organic material.
In other words, we're just dirty. xD

3/6-4/6
Genting trip with friends.
FYI, you only need 1 hour to travel from Terminal Putra, Gombak to Skyway Station, Genting Highland.
Cool, huh? ^^

Bought our tickets along with the bus fare and enjoyed all park with just RM42.
The rides were as exciting as always, both indoor and outdoor.
Too bad the rain came pouring in the evening.
But we still managed to get on some rides before the park closed.

Went for a walk at night.
It's been a while since we gathered around and chat bout life.
Well, it felt nice to do so.
We should do that often.

Had some card game with the guys.
After 2-hour of slumbering, Huey, Yi, Chean and I got to sneak some food from the buffet.
Soon after we checked out, some of us headed for Snow World.
Still can't handle the chill...T T
Next, we returned home.

Meeting up with Siak Wei there reminded me bout the wonderful times Zoe, Qi, she and I had when we're back in 4S1.
I wonder whether friends really get lost in touch when they don't see each other frequently.
Selena...Yu Sheng...
Well, I certainly hope the broken connection could be fixed.

5/6
At home resting.

6/6-7/6
Rehearsal for the teacher's day celebration and pratice for the singing competition.
Our class needs more bonding.

7/6
Joined the 狂欢晚会 at the 隆中-芙中学长团交流营.
Crazy!

8/6
At home resting.

Basically, that's what I did this holiday.
Listing these out makes me feel proud of myself. ^^
Yet, nothing means more to me than can spend time with her...

#13

2008-05-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

Car got hit last Saturday while I was away for outdoor learning.
Well, this certainly reflects the driving standard of most Malaysians.
Reversing without looking back, accelerating without any concern, hit and run...
Sounds familiar, right? ^^"
I suppose those bribe would come to good use fixing those damaged vechicles.

Did some voluntary work on Wesak Day.
Truth was, that's the first time I joined the celebration.
It was sort of fun, leaving out the stained shirt and messy situation.
What's next?
Donating blood on 22/6.

Back to school.
I've been busy preparing for the Teacher's Day Celebration.
Since my glorious retirement, I've been laying low. xD
To go out there and work, I really lost my mind.
Hope everything will just go as planned.

"A S E"
A- 艺术型
S- 社会型
E- 企业型
My occupational potential.
Do you agree?

News

2008-05-15T02:57:00.000-07:00

News these days isn't pretty to see at all.
First page you have:
SzeChuan's facing their biggest hardship
Myanmar's doing their best to accommodate the homeless...

Yet, turning to the inner page,
There're still words regarding outdoor burning...

So, I suppose we get our answer.
Lives are at stake if actions like those continue.

Okay, now for the good news.
Exam's over! xD

Countdown

2008-05-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

3 days till the mid-year exam.
Some of you might think:" What's the big deal? Aren't you always the one who told us not to freak out?"
Surprise, surprise...
Mr. IDon'tCare just got a little nervous about his test.
Wonder whether it'll do me good or not?

So, first day we'll have Calculus and Biology.
I've been failing Calculus since January.
I did his homework, studied for his test, even asked him silly question 'bout the subject.
Yet, the number isn't always ideal.
I guess it takes more than determination to beat the crap out of this.
As for the latter, I'll just take my time.

Other subjects?
I still can't figure out the movement of electrons and what the heck is angular velocity?
Besides that, can somebody tell me the difference between voltage and e.m.f?
I know the missy has been explaining this for ages, but I just don't seem to get the idea of "Electromotive force is the ... for the source of electricity" .
Maybe someday I'll discover a better source of energy rather than electricity just to keep future students away from these menaces.
Nevertheless, science do make a difference in life.
Hence, all hail Newton and the other superior human minds.

Maybe next time I'm the one being hailed. xD

Nuts

2008-04-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

I'm going nuts.

I was being rebellious recently.
Why? I lost my value.
Why again? Nobody cares 'bout me.
No interest? Blah.

Anyway, we've changed seat.
Jiun Wei, Sum Yueand I were to sit side by side.
Truth was, JW asked me to switch places with SY.
So, being an angel like always, I did that.
As a result, my name got highlighted in the infamous masterpiece- .:Starfish:.
Hence, there goes my good name [= =]"

So, 1 week left until the mid-year exam.
Anxious.

Talking 'bout being rebellious back then.
The story sounded like this...
When we're celebrating Yuan Si's birthday last Friday,
I declared seriously:" I'm going to quit the board this instance if nobody's coming to confront me!"
Well, as I expected, nobody came.
Thus, end of story.

Lately, I felt completed.
It's weird though, I rarely felt like this.
Thinking irrationally, making unexpected moves, even speaking histarically...
Everything I've done, it's like I did those for solely one purpose.
Guess Cupid is on the road.

P/S I have no intention of disgracing SY in this post. If she do see this, HELP!

Ouran LIVE

2008-04-26T04:31:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what if Ouran High School Host Club is on live?
Well, I was lucky enough to watch it.
The story sounded like this...

E yang came back from S'pore lately, and the nice guy asked us for lunch together.
Being told that he's going to treat us, I knew I gotta be there.
I heard that Jia Hao's going to bring his sweetheart along.
*There's a potential plot to elaborate*

Okay, so we picked a restaurant and sat down.
Frankly, we're like two separate groups sitting together just because the other tables were taken.
Yea, that's how I felt there.
-CHKL vs Taylor-
Hmm...
Interesting...
Conclusion?
We're living two different lifestyles. That's it.

Anyway, bout the Ouran part.
So, we were informed that college students are loaded,
Especially those which campuses are located in PJ, Sunway, etc...
It's true.
Today, I'm glad I was there to witness how they spend their cash.
Man, I was amazed by the way they could just leave half a plate of fried rice and reject changes.
I don't mean to be harsh here, but...
I guess I'm just being childish.

I've always been the one who have odd thoughts.
Bear with me, okay? xD

P/S
-Just in case you don't have a clue on Ouran High School Host Club, check this out en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouran
-E yang, good luck! Nice seeing you again. ^^

Aimless

2008-04-23T03:28:00.000-07:00

Man, I'm so free these days.
Every morning I'm just wandering around aimlessly...
I promised Tuan Khee to study with him.
Truth is, I couldn't keep up with the schedule he set for me T T

Mid-year exam is just around the corner, 2 weeks to be exact...
People asked me:" Prepared?"
I just smiled.
Guess they knew my answer's "No, I'm not!" xD

Lately, I've been wondering, "What should I do with my studies?"
Education seems so troublesome when you're older.
Yet I guess I'll do my best.

P/S Tuan Khee, if I ever disappoint you, I'm sorry! I'll work harder!

Once A Dream...

2008-04-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

"Once, I had a dream...
A dream I had to fulfill..."

内勤处
It was established in 2005, when the Prefectorial Board stepped into its 45th.
I wasn't a member of it back then.
But deep inside, I need some answers. I knew that's it.

Soon after the beginning of 46th, I got voted as team-leader.
Thus, it was either 总务处 or 内勤处 for me.
Truth is, I wanted to be 团康股股长.
Maybe I really don't have the looks to appeal them.
Hence, I became 内勤处处员 and it has opened a new page.

In our first meeting, I got labelled as "外交组组员"
Sound nice? Yea, the name explains for itself.
All we got to do was improving our relationship with students A.K.A "Public Relationship Department".
Life was easy then...Why?
'Cause there's nothing to do, honestly.
All our ideas were too unrealistic, as nothing were...= ="
I was so fed up with it, I concentrated all my wishes into C3......

"Disappointment brings hope...
I saw mine eventually..."

Time went by quickly...
By the time 47th came, I became executive committee member.
This meant that I got to have an opportunity to set things right.
I could finally realise my dream.

Being 处长 myself,
I knew what I want for my 处员.
"There won't be any historical scenes reappearing if I'm in charge!"
Time after time, Hui Yi and I kept telling them the importance of our existence.
Let them start from scratch,
Running errands till organising courses...
I thought :
"If I were to be complained by them, I hope it's because we made them so busy."
I didn't mind whether my idea was right or wrong.
All I knew was to give them the learning ticket,
To board or not lay within them...

"The cycle continues...
Time to pass it down finally arrives..."

1 year just passed with a glimspe...
We held a lot of events, i.e. 系统周, 共识化游戏, 纪律跑站, 新上任学长团课, 实习学长团课, etc...
Each with distinct memories...

Now, the board is in her 48th,
And by far, 内勤处 has been around for the fourth year.
The new 处长 were chosen not long before.
素安 and 苑思,
Both of them were 处员 of mine.
Frankly, I'm very glad to hear that they are willing to continue the cycle.

As of today, Hui Yi and I pass down everything we know about being 内勤处处长 to them.
Thereby entrusting them with our hopes and dreams...
Therefore, both of you, don't ever let us down!
I really had fun doing it, so you two just enjoy the whole process, k?

Recently...

2008-04-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

Yea, surprise...surprise... ^^
It's been bout half a year since the last update...
Miss me? XD Guess not.

Anyway, schoolwork's been okay recently...
Though my result's really not that "fanstastic" anymore T T
I guess I'll cope with it, like I always do!

11/4/2008
A special day for me...
It marks the end of my journey of being a nice-old-prefect~ ^^
Time to change my smelly, dirty blue tie to a it-has-a-new-TIE-smell greyish one...
Excited, yet deep inside, I know I'm going to miss all that has happened...

Looking back then when I was just a "trainee"...
Oh God I was bad... WAY worse than you've ever seen...
I've got slapped just because I teased at a senior student for sitting at the edge of a balcony, saying that " You want to see Hades?" (Yeap, I did that XD)
I've even considered bout going to tell Mr. Lee: "Hey shortie, I want to resign whether you like it or not! "... I even have the letter now, saved inside my comp~ lol
I was so angry with my team-leader I went balistic and badmouthing her in front of EVERYONE I saw, though I still do it now...XD
Heck, I've done some weird things to get myself kicked, i.e. joining the sports camp...F.Y.I That's one awful experience...

Later, my second team-leader came knocking on my door which was locked away from everyone...
Unfortunately, he found the key...= ="
Otherwise, you won't see me now as the super-hottie prefect that kills XD
I was going to thank him, but as you can see, I wasn't good at expressing myself as I am now...
So, if he's able to see this, "Thanks for pulling me back!"

Thereby, I got myself involved in this "fight or flight" situation...
If I ever wanted to be recognised, I would have to fight my way...
Or...
I could just choose to leave as I was...
Truth is, I'm just not a tolerative kind of person...XD

I learned from scratch...
From joining an activity to organising an event...
I got help once in a while, but frankly, we just have to learn on our own...
Yea, I did have my "opinions" XD
Lots of them honestly...
Yet, those are things that complete me as the way I am, especially back in group S...
I did have fun acting Geisha, making ice-cream and colouring those eggs~
Not to say that I'm perfect, but that's our common goal, right? > <

Soon, I've got voted...
Leading C3...
Tough? Kinda...
I could still remember vividly when I heard the list of my team-mates...
"What the heck is this? I'm doomed for the whole 46th!"
Things changed eventually...
That list of people taught me how to handle problems ALONG with them, not only myself...
It sculpted me as a leader, showing me how to set my goals, how to realise them and how to confront hardship...
Hence, when we parted, I was so different than I was before...
Nuff said, "Thanks"

Yea, 47th came rolling down from the sky...
Again, I've got entrusted with the post I've never thought I have the chance to hold...
-Executive Committee Member-
This means a lot to me...
Another opportunity for me to change what I think wasn't good enough...
Group P, well, some of them certainly matured...
Though several went against the law of nature...[= ="]
Deep inside my heart, 你们是我的星光...
Just don't bring any trouble to the one's around you...
You're responsible for your actions! Remember that!

内勤处( Sorry for the sudden language switch, can't find a noun for it XD)
I really lay my heart on this...
To tell you the truth, I always wanted to improve the way it works...
46th was a DREADFUL experience...
I felt so useless back then I even thought of odd ways to find stuff to do, i.e making CNY cards for EVERYONE in school, both students and well, janitors...lol
Thus, when I became 处长, I told myself...
"No way I'm going to let my 处员 to have stupid thoughts like those..."
As a result, I really push them to the limit...
Giving them tasks they never thought of before...
Asking them to stay everyday just for the sake of an 1-hour activity...
Result?
Hopefully, they will start holding grudge and improvise more...
Cause that's how I managed to do it XD

Now, as 内勤处处长, I was "lucky" enough to be the babysitter...
At first, I was given 80 bottles to feed...
Along with Hui Yi, we got ourselves mad teaching them how to live in this BIG family...
As a result, we organised weekly courses for them...
Babbling bout the Do and Don'ts whenever we could...
Soon, some of them find their true destiny and leave us...
Most of them, on the other hand, became bad apples...
So bad... We have to cut them out...
It was hard for us... Each of them is practically jewels to us, though I always deny it...
As time passed, they grow...
And after 11/4, they're no longer 新上任学长...
They'll become seniors and the cycle goes on~
Oh well, I'm gald you find your ways, just don't forget, everything you do, you do it for the one's you care!

常委会...
We've definately been through plenty of ups and downs...
Thanks for the memories...
I really appreciate them...
If I ever, ever let anyone of you down, I didn't meant it... I'm sorry!

Lastly, to my friends...
Listen, this won't be the end of our friendship...
I'm still here...living...
As I'm going to be very, very free, you can find me during recess...XD
Or ask me for karaoke...I like those...

So...
Basically...
This is how I walked through the path I've chosen...
Once chosen, you just have to keep going...
And when you're done, looking back will bring many precious moments...

THE PREFECTORIAL BOARD
I SALUTE YOU!

1 year later...Kinda...^^

2007-09-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been 1 year since my last post...
Things change much since then...
Academically or in society work... Everything else just had a makeover...
Drop hard in my academic results...
Well, 8 to 14... It's definately something BIG to me...^^"
Sad, not really... Just disappointed with the way I've treated the matter...

Hmm...The board...
Change my post this March... To somehow a higher one...= ="
Happy? Well, did get exiceted for a moment...
Yet the work really get on me soon...
Tiring though...^^"
Leading group P now... Four teams...
Each with different problems...Wow...^^"
Although so...
It's still nice to get to meet different people...

Others?
Nothing changed much...
Will try to keep updating this...
Promise? Nah~ Let's keep it a surprise...^^

SomeWhere NoWhere...

2006-09-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

Sustaining a high will, I manage to focus on my studies and everything else in my sight. Yet, something just flew away to nowhere... Hope I knew it earlier, but as usual, time doesn't leave sympathy for anyone.

Just had a hard sail through the exams, nothing big, honestly. Couple of 60's and 70's, but still above average in public opinion. While having some hard hitting lessons lately, I've learned and practiced. That's one way everybody sees it, however... IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!

Her blog makes everything seems so easy...Wish I didn't saw it~

*I should have post this a long time ago...

8:27 AM

2006-08-24T17:32:00.000-07:00

2 minutes past 8:27 AM, and I still don't have any idea on what to write. Maybe, I shouldn't create this new blog, or maybe, everything I do now is just an illusion, to confuse me.

"DON'T THINK TOO MUCH!", I yelled at myself.

"YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT A FAILURE SINCE YOU CHOSE THAT PATH!", once more, I shouted.

"BUT... ... YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MAKE ME LOSE CONTROL... ..."

"... ..."

Silent once again.

It's 8:34 AM now.

I miss her... ...

Will I ever understand?

8:40, to be exact... ...

Spilled Ink

Language Teaching in Japan

孟庆

Natalie Portman

邓丽君

Poo

江蕙——憨阿嬷

"-_ -"

Rescue Mission (supposedly)

ー

ガマン

爱|我

- -“

日本 二〇一〇

2010

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Le Hopeless Romantique (Pt 2?)

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Erm...

2008

Work.Ulgy.Money (WTH!?)

又人格分析

Tagged

吹水

Farewell

Plans

Beforehand

See, told you I'm good at teaching!

Last Routine

The Great One?

S.S

My Happy Ending

Over

Disney

Sleepless

Time

Reminiscence

One World One Dream?

The Happening 2

Off Topic

The Happening

Birthday Bash

#17

A Twist of Mood

Awful

Holidays

#13

News

Countdown

Nuts

Ouran LIVE

Aimless

Once A Dream...

Recently...

1 year later...Kinda...^^

SomeWhere NoWhere...

8:27 AM

日本二〇一〇

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